From missionary to the lotus, what your favourite sex position says about you
ARE you subconsciously socially distancing from your partner in the bedroom? Could his go-to position be a sign of selfishness?
While there are hundreds of sex positions featured in the Kama Sutra, experts believe most are variations of just a handful of moves – and the one you choose reveals a lot.
Here, sex and relationships expert KATE TAYLOR explains what your favourite shapes in the sack say about you and your partner . . . and gives a top tip for each one.
Missionary
THE UK’s favourite sex position, according to most surveys. If you agree, then you’re probably a traditionalist in a loving relationship.
Missionary, along with spoons and lotus, gives maximum skin-to-skin contact, triggering a rush of oxytocin – the bonding hormone.
If you relish this connection you bring your partner even closer by wrapping your arms and legs around him and showering him with kisses.
HIM: If he’s a missionary man, he loves the intimacy of sex as well as the physical feeling.
It’s not the most stimulating position for him – that’s doggy – but it gives him the chance to watch your enjoyment too.
TIP: Missionary is cosy, but it can drive you into a rut.
Keep things fresh, as that will boost your arousal and give you a bigger climax.
Try every other position on this list before you do missionary again, to remind yourself what you’re missing.
Spoons
SOMETIMES, physical reasons make people choose to spoon, such as pregnancy, illness or aches.
If you’re fighting fit and still prefer to have sex like cutlery, you love the full-body intimacy of this hug-with-benefits.
But you’re still turning your back on your partner – maybe you are fantasising about someone else, have trust issues, hate his beard or his breath.
Alternatively, you might just love the G-spot vibes you get from this move.
HIM: If he’s a spooner, he loves being close to you, in every way.
This isn’t an easy position for men as there’s little leverage, but he gets to explore your body with his hands.
TIP: Try lying-down doggy.
You’ll keep the G-spot thrills and it will feel deeper for both of you.
Doggy
IF you are a crazy doggy lady, you pride yourself on knowing how to arouse your lover.
You see sex as a way to impress. Sometimes you keep your feelings a mystery to everyone.
And, you might simply not like sex to last too long, as most men finish fast in this position.
HIM: Men love this – it’s the most primal, animalistic position, and offers him a sexy view, and the deepest sensation.
But those thrusting thrills are at the expense of intimacy – this is as far apart as you can get while having sex.
If he likes doggy, he could be the non-committal type.
TIP: Try missionary (or the eagle) and – for extra intimacy – maintain eye contact.
Yes, it’ll feel terrifyingly intimate but that’s what you need to get closer.
If you can’t let go together, your relationship might fall apart.
The Lotus
THE lotus is like really hot yoga. It’s not the easiest position to get into or climax in, but it offers unrivalled closeness.
If you love this, you pride yourself on your physical fitness and nurturing your relationships.
You like teamwork and to build your emotional connections.
HIM: If he’s a lotus-lover, then he’s probably spiritual but definitely passive.
He wants you to have fun, and is happy to help you get there, even at the expense of his own pleasure.
He prides himself on being open-minded and on his love of sharing.
TIP: Shake things up by swapping tantric for frantic, and have sex standing up against a wall.
It’ll inject spontaneity and raw lust into your relationship.
Sixty-nine
THIS is the favourite position of 13 per cent of women but eight per cent of men, according to a survey.
If it is yours, you believe in give and take, and don’t like to be watched while you work.
If you prefer to go on top in this position, your body-confidence is high, and you like taking charge.
If you prefer being underneath, you might not be very good at letting go, or have insecurities about how you look.
HIM: If it’s his favourite, he probably loves the comfort and efficiency.
It’s also a big turn-on for him to know you are receiving pleasure while he is.
He might not be the most confident lover, but he’s caring.
TIP: Try the coital alignment technique.
Start in missionary, but rather than thrusting, he rocks back and forth – it will stimulate your clitoris.
Standing
THE traditional position for quickies, this gives fast, thrusting thrills when time and space are short.
If this is your favourite, you’re adventurous and love seizing the moment.
It gives you the freedom to express your lust any time and keeps your sex life unpredictable and exciting.
If you are facing each other, it’s also intimate, as you need a close grip to stay upright.
HIM: If he loves a knee- trembler – and only two per cent of men do – he’s not looking to build an intimate connection and is strictly seeking physical pleasure.
TIP: If you’ve only got time for quickies, clear some space in your calendar.
Use it to connect with each other by going out on unhurried dates.
Sex can’t do all your bonding, you still need to nurture your relationship by talking too.
Cowgirl
IF you love to ride your man, you’re confident in your own desirability.
You’re also impatient and want to maximise your fun in the shortest time possible.
In a survey, cowgirl was the favourite position for women to climax quickly.
For you, excitement comes from control.
You love seeing the effect you’re having on your partner and being able to tease him.
HIM: If your man loves to be your bucking bronco, he’s happy to watch you putting your pleasure first – and the view is amazing.
He’s caring and adaptable, and doesn’t feel threatened when you take the lead.
TIP: If you take charge of your own pleasure every time, you’ll become resentful, and your man won’t feel he even needs to be there.
Keep the balance equal in bed – and your relationship – by giving up control, and letting him take over in a position like missionary or standing.
Reverse cowgirl
PHYSICALLY, this is a good position for women as the angle means you’re stimulating places that don’t often get touched.
It also puts you in the driving seat, and lets you focus on your own pleasure without being watched.
You can fantasise that your guy is anyone in the world.
And you are free to use your hands on your body, or his, as you please.
HIM: If your man loves reverse cowgirl, he’s a brave boy – it’s the position most likely to damage his manhood if you slip or bounce too enthusiastically.
But he risks it because he gets to see you let go.
Reverse cowgirl is a spectator sport for lusty, visual men.
TIP: Go back to basics – spend time just kissing and getting to first or second base.
Teach each other what really arouses you, and open up about your favourite fantasies.
Sex will be even hotter.
The Eagle
THIS is missionary, but with the woman’s legs in the air.
Love Island’s Curtis Pritchard announced it was his favourite position last summer, and its popularity comes from it being as easy as missionary but with a raunchier image.
If you love it, you want to please your partner and be seen as exciting – or you’re really keen to tone your thighs.
You also enjoy the feeling of being dominated in bed, and being passionately taken, as a contrast to the rest of your life where you keep tight control.
HIM: If he’s Eddie the Eagle, he sees himself as a passionate lover, and enjoys giving his all in the bedroom.
He cares about your pleasure, enjoys watching the action, and has stamina – some men won’t last in this position.
He’s the kind of man who’ll show you a great time in bed, then charm your mum over a cuppa.
TIP: The eagle offers easy variations for a fun-loving twosome.
Put your feet on his chest, wrap your ankles round his neck, or place one leg down on the bed.
Keep him guessing.
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