HARD LUCK
Student tells E4’s Sex Clinic he’s never been able to ejaculate during sex
A STUDENT has revealed how he has never been able to ejaculate during sex.
Tapodeb Mukherjee goes to see doctors at E4's The Sex Clinic during tonight's episode as struggles to ever come close to climaxing - despite being able to have sex "for hours".
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The 23-year-old, who is originally from India, tells medics that he finds problem "frustrating" whenever making love to a partner.
And he explains how when he is close to ejaculating during anal sex he "goes soft" which makes him "internally panic."
Despite this, Tapodeb, whose friends call him Taps, says he can ejaculate "easily" when pleasuring himself.
Taps, who has been living in Brighton for the last four years, tells Dr Naomi Sutton: "There's been something on my mind for a while which has stopped me feeling 100 per cent confident.
"I can't seem to ejaculate from penetrative sex."
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Taps describes how he has been sexually active for the past four years after coming out as gay but has only come close to ejaculating once or twice during this time.
He adds: "I just think I'm not normal because I feel like everyone who's normal can finish the race and I'm the one who stops just ten metres before."
Dr Sutton quizzes Taps on his relationship history where he revealed a previous partner would never be "fully pleased" during intercourse - and would constantly ask Taps when he would ejaculate.
I just think I'm not normal
Tapodeb Mukherjee
Dr Sutton tells Taps a lot of it is down to anxiety, adding: "A lot of this is to do with how you feel."
Taps then goes to visit Charlene Douglas, The Sex Clinic's sex and relationship counsellor, to get more advice.
Charlene tells him: "What's important is to explore what's going on under the surface.
"When the subconscious mind feels really at peace then in terms of having an orgasm, it can happen."
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Charlene finds out more about Taps' "sexual journey" and who he came out as gay to.
Taps explains: "I came out to a few close people in my family but not everybody knows and I'm not very out and proud back in India even though I really want to be.
"My uncles and aunts will be like 'oh, we need to find you a bride, we need to get you married and have kids'.
"I feel like my family accepts me but deep down inside I know that they don't.
It's very emotionally draining
Tapodeb Mukherjee
"Because I'm gay I have to do everything twice as hard, just to be normal - it's very emotionally draining.
"It is painful because I lost my dad in 2014 and I never got to tell him about being gay and I was very close with my dad, very, very close.
"I don't know how he would have reacted - it carries a lot of weight in my life."
Charlene gets Taps to explore more of his buried, painful thoughts - through a mirror exercise.
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Taps is given post-it notes and told to write down some of the negative statements and comments he's heard over the years - including things like "never good enough" and "weird."
Charlene determines that it is these negative statements that are affecting Taps' ability to ejaculate.
"These are some of the negative statements aren't they that you've been carrying," she says.
"So when you're having that sexual experience and you're physically aroused and you're really enjoying it - these thoughts are there."
Charlene recommends Taps delves deeper into his thoughts and learn to work through accepting he is in order to help with his ejaculation problem.
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"I never realised that so much from my past would be something that I unconsciously carry around and it just stops me," Taps says.
"What I learnt is I build a long, big wall of negativity in front of me that makes me fail to see myself.
"I need to learn to completely be myself, without any pressure.";
The second episode of The Sex Clinic airs tonight on E4 at 10pm.
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