Meet the professional sex toy tester who’s had orgasms on the train and even lets her mum try the toys too
TO her fellow commuters Karleen Howden looks like any other office worker travelling to the capital for her 9-5 job.
But what they don’t know is she is hiding a sexy secret.
As a sex toy tester for Ann Summers, Karleen, 35, has love balls tucked into her most intimate area – and her partner Desi Marjolin, 45, is using a remote control to turn them up as she tries to tone down her laughter on the train.
It was once a taboo subject, but our sexual wellbeing is finally being taken seriously - and Karleen’s job is to make sure it stays there.
This week, supermarket giant Tesco announced they would be selling vibrators in 510 of their stores, while Boots enlarged its saucy offerings this month to include everything from lubricants to pelvic floor trainers.
As women are more confident than ever in the bedroom, and with 48 percent of Brits thought to own a device that stimulates sexual pleasure, it’s a subject worth talking about.
Karleen, from Bexley, Greater London, says: “Sex isn’t a taboo anymore and pleasuring yourself is important - I love that.
“All my friends are really curious about my job and ask, ‘what’s the best toy?’
“I am always happy to help - after all I am an expert.
“I get asked loads of different questions: ‘What do you need if you want clitoral stimulation? What’s best for your G-spot? What’s a fab couple’s toy?’
“People want to know if they are using toys right, too.
“That’s where I encourage people to read the instructions to get the best experience with their toy.
“I can’t emphasise this enough – you will find out so much.”
Karleen started working for Ann Summers in 2014.
The retailer gained a reputation for selling sexy lingerie with an aim to please men, but increasingly their high street stores are filled with devices to make the bedroom more fun for women.
Having previously worked for a competitor, Karleen was well versed on using toys to spice up sex lives so it was a no-brainer when the brand asked her to take on some extra-curricular work on top of her day job as a buyer.
She says: “I love working for Ann Summers and when they suggested I test toys, I jumped at the chance.
“After all you can’t honestly sell things and know that they are decent if you’ve not tried them yourself."
She continued: “I’m happy to give genuine, honest feedback. If something isn’t good - not satisfying, too slow, too fast or drains the battery too quickly - I’ll say so.
“When I tell people my job is a sex toy tester, they are always shocked.
“But it’s not like I sneak off to the loos at work to try them. I work in a professional office and that would be bonkers. It is strictly at home, after hours.”
The rampant rabbit is perhaps the most famous sex toy, having been catapulted to fame after a 1998 episode of Sex and the City saw the character Charlotte unwilling to the leave the house after being giving the buzzing device.
Sales soared, with Ann Summers reporting it sold one million “Rabbits” in a year.
And so companies such as LoveHoney and So Divine began experimenting with other pleasurable gadgets that would create a real buzz in the bedroom.
I try and push my body to the limit and come about three times in one session.
Karleen Howden
Even Gwynnie has got in on the, ahem, action by trying to flog shoppers a £11,000 gold-plated vibrator from her Goop website.
With noise surrounding the sex toy industry growing over recent years, some of the contraptions available are getting more and more confusing.
Karleen says: “I’ve not injured myself but I am an expert and very experienced. And I know when my body is tired and needs a break.
“I know one woman used a wand vibrator, which is intended for clitoral stimulation, inside her vagina.
“She got a shock and it stung for days.
“At the moment we’re focused on the spring 2020 range.
“Colour and texture is huge at the moment. What feels good? What looks good? Shape is so important too."
She continued: “Over the past few years we’ve started to look increasingly at sustainability.
“We’re trying to cut down on packaging; we don’t want to overuse plastic.”
When most of us get home after a day’s work and pop on our PJs ready for a Netflix boxset, is Karleen screaming yes, yes, yes each night?
She says: “Some people believe I spend all day orgasming.
“But you have to be in the right mindset when trying the toys and, like all girls, especially when I am on my period, I get really tired.
“Sometimes I just don’t want to test the toy- and that’s alright.
“I have a full time job and am in a relationship, sometimes I want to sit on the sofa and watch telly.
“My boyfriend Desi and I do test toys together but not all the time. It’s important not to get too dependent on them.
“We don’t rely on sex toys to have a great sex life. Sex toys can be used to spice things up in the bedroom, or to give yourself some self-love.
“Although there was one occasion where I tried a Fusion Remote Control Egg on the train into London, designed for internal stimulation, which he was controlling with a remote.
“As he turned it up to its highest level, I was in hysterics. Luckily, no one realised.
“On average I try one new toy a week and test it for longevity, compactness, effectiveness and more.
“I try and push my body to the limit and can orgasm about three times in one session.”
An unconventional addition to her working week, Karleen insists that her lack of embarrassment around sex stems from her family always having honest discussions growing up.
She says: “My mum, Elaine, is very open-minded and is proud of my job.
Karleen's buzzing advice
The vibrator virgin should try a clitoral vibrator. This is a good way to introduce yourself into the world of sex toys.
Other people might want to experience different things, it’s a personal choice and there will be something for everyone!
Make sure you ALWAYS have batteries spare or make sure they are fully charged…there is nothing worse than running out mid-session.
My fave toy for clitorial stimulation is the Zumio. The power that is packed into it is immense.
Otherwise I love The Moregasm Boost Rampant Rabbit… it has just come on so much from your classic ‘rabbit’ vibrator.
“She was open about sex when I was growing up which I am pleased about. I think people should focus on pleasure. There’s nothing to be ashamed about enjoying yourself.
“I’ve got four sisters and I will give advice to them too, as well as my mum.
“I gave her kegel balls [small balls that help to strengthen vaginal and pelvic floor muscles and improve orgasm] - and she loved them.”
So is Karleen’s house reminiscent of Mr Grey’s red room from the best-selling 50 Shades of Grey books? Thankfully not.
She says: “You’d think I’d have sex toys littered about my home, but it is not the case.
“I have one box which I refresh regularly, for variety.
“I simply haven’t got the space to keep everything I try and so recycle what I have used.
“Ann Summers has a recycling policy where you can take your toys back to store and they will dispose of them for you so I just dispose of mine this way.
“When I think about it, I do have a pretty o-mazing job.”
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