Fabulous delves into the dark world of trolling after Jesy Nelson speaks out against horrific online bullying
OPENING her laptop, Emma Thomson’s heart began to race. As she logged into each of her social media apps, abusive messages calling her a “whore” and a “con artist” flashed up on screen.
“Reading each one I felt sick,” says Emma, now 30, from Essex, whose troll was a former friend. “They were only words, but they were so horrible. Even after I put my phone away or shut down my laptop they stayed in my head, making me feel rubbish. The abuse went on for six years, and I ended up suffering with anxiety because of the stress.”
Online trolls like Emma’s are becoming increasingly common in the UK, with recent research showing that one in four adults have fallen victim to cyberbullying.**
In another study by Amnesty International in December 2018, it was discovered that women are receiving abusive tweets on average every 30 seconds.
Celebrities are also being targeted. Last September, Little Mix singer Jesy Nelson revealed in BBC3 documentary Odd One Out that vicious trolling following the band’s X Factor win in 2011 caused her to suffer from depression and an eating disorder, and led to her taking an overdose in 2013.
Speaking about the night she won the reality show, Jesy said: “I had about 101 Facebook messages in my inbox, and the first one that came up was from some random man saying: ‘You are the ugliest thing I’ve seen in my life, you do not deserve to be in the girl band. You deserve to die.’”
Likewise, last summer, Taylor Swift slammed her trolls with her single You Need To Calm Down. And last September, TV presenter Rachel Riley backed the Don’t Feed The Trolls campaign, launched by the Center for Countering Digital Hate, after revealing that she’d blocked more than 1,500 people on Twitter who had sent her anti-Semitic abuse and spread the hashtag #BoycottRachelRiley.
Then in October, heavily pregnant Rebekah Vardy outed a number of trolls who had sent her abusive Instagram messages – including one that read: “I hope that baby dies within you bitch” – following her Wagatha Christie spat with Coleen Rooney.
According to Liz Ritchie, an integrative psychotherapist at St Andrews Healthcare who worked with Jesy Nelson on the BBC3 documentary, it’s no wonder trolling is now becoming more prolific.
With more social media platforms at their disposal than ever before, what is being done to stop trolls in their tracks?
In 2016, the Crown Prosecution Service issued new guidelines warning that people who create “derogatory hashtags”, post “grossly offensive” messages or doctor images to humiliate others could face prosecution.
Twitter now also allows users to report trolls and block notifications based on certain key words and phrases using a mute feature. Meanwhile, Facebook has a Report Post function that alerts its Community Standards team, which has the power to ban anyone engaging in bullying or harassment.
However, last April, research showed that 75% of people still don’t think social media sites are doing enough.*** Reality star Katie Price is so sick of trolls abusing both her and her disabled son Harvey, 17, that she is currently campaigning for trolling to be made a criminal offence, as well as having a register for offenders.
The proposed bill, called Harvey’s Law, received the support of MPs in January last year after her petition attracted more than 200,000 signatures. The Law Commission has also recommended the reform of existing laws that deal with offensive and abusive online communications to better protect victims.
YEARS OF ABUSE
Despite such measures, Emma still endured years of online abuse.
“I’d known my troll, Anna*, for a while,” says Emma. “We had mutual friends, but she became really confrontational and was always getting into arguments with people on nights out. We weren’t particularly close, so in 2009 I decided to disengage from her by deleting her from my social media and not going anywhere I knew she’d be.”
Then, in 2011, Emma launched an online gifting business. “Everything was going really well and I hadn’t heard from Anna in four years, so I was surprised when she followed me on Twitter in 2013,” she says. “I didn’t follow her back, but soon customers began contacting me saying Anna was sending them private messages accusing me of running a fake company to scam people out of money and that I couldn’t be trusted.
“I hated that I had no control over her bad-mouthing me. She also had her own online business, but I didn’t know if she was motivated by jealousy or a personal vendetta against me. I just desperately wanted her to stop.”
Emma confided in her partner and decided not to contact Anna directly. However by 2014 the abuse had escalated, with Anna also encouraging her family and friends to write fake reviews on Emma’s website, Facebook page and an online retail directory, which dragged down her ratings.
“It was non-stop and caused me to lose customers and sales. I also received abusive messages from her friends, including one that said: ‘f**k you, you whore’. I was devastated. Even though the abuse was online and not physical, I felt really intimidated.
“I reported the attacks to Facebook, but all they did was delete a one star review that had been left on my business page by one of Anna’s associates. I thought about coming off social media, but I didn’t want to let her win, plus I needed it to earn a living. After confiding in some other online business owners, I discovered I wasn’t her only target and decided to contact the police.”
'MENTAL HEALTH SUFFERED'
In December 2014, police gave Anna a harassment warning against Emma. However, this did little to stop her, and the police could do no more as the new CPS guidelines for trolling had yet to come into force.
“I went to the police three times in all,” says Emma. “But they seemed just as powerless as me and said they couldn’t charge her with anything. In the end my mental health really suffered. I couldn’t sleep, became very anxious and was always on edge, constantly logging on to check if anything else bad had been posted. I even worried people in the street had been contacted by her and believed false things about me. I saw her once while out shopping in 2017, but she just rushed passed me in the street and wouldn’t even make eye contact.”
Emma endured the abuse until early 2019, when suddenly it began to tail off.
“I have no idea why,” says Emma. “I’ve been told Anna is trolling some influencers I work with and I’ve also heard she is now targeting another business owner, who is experiencing mental health problems as a result. I’m relieved she’s finally stopped attacking me directly, but very sad for this other woman. I’ll never forget the horrible things Anna said about me.”
With a reported 6% of the population identifying as an online troll† and most recently Insta influencer Clemmie Hooper (AKA Mother of Daughters) causing outrage when she was exposed as a troll, what is causing people to post hateful messages online?
Liz explains trolls usually have low self-esteem and get a high from causing pain to others. “Many trolls may seem completely normal in real life, but they have a different personality on social media, which they hide behind,” she says. “They can also become increasingly desensitised to the abuse they’re dishing out, which is why they continue despite the hurt they’re causing.”
This is true of Kate*, 42, who admits trolling several people, including ex-partners and their girlfriends.
Kate, who is single and works as a retail manager in Hertfordshire, says: “I first sent abusive messages online in 2011, when I discovered my ex-husband, James*, was seeing someone new. We had split in 2009 after five years together, and I was struggling to come to terms with the break-up. I desperately wanted to see who he’d chosen over me, so I Googled her name and found her social media accounts. Seeing how beautiful she was, I felt devastated and sick to my stomach with jealousy.
“I found the website for her hairdressing business, set up a fake email account and started sending horrible messages saying she was rubbish at her job. I felt like I was getting my own back on her for her stealing James – even though I now know she hadn’t done anything wrong. After a few months she emailed my fake email address and asked me to stop. I didn’t reply, but instead began writing nasty comments on her Facebook posts under another false name. I don’t know how, but James eventually twigged that it was me and sent me a message threatening to call the police if I continued. I was mortified and felt so embarrassed. I didn’t reply, but I stopped trolling her immediately.”
However, over the next six years, Kate continued trolling others using three fake Facebook profiles. “I went through a couple of break-ups and every time I felt down I’d log on and start sending abusive messages to my ex-boyfriends and their new partners, or their friends,” she admits.
TROLLS 'GET A KICK'
“If they blocked me I’d just find another way to get at them, like on Twitter. Whenever I did start trolling people, it would be alone in the evening after I’d had a drink. I’d get such a kick from it, then wake up the next day mortified, but I couldn’t stop myself.
“My friends and family had no idea,” she explains. “Occasionally, months would go by where I’d feel good about myself and I forgot all about trolling, but as soon as something went wrong I’d be back online. It sounds horrible, but making others feel bad about themselves made my life seem better.”
However in September 2017, Kate finally realised her behaviour needed to change. “I was dating a guy called Greg*, who I really liked. He wasn’t ready to settle down and I took the break-up very badly,” she says. “I started sending him abuse over Facebook under my real name, saying he was ugly and had thinning hair – something I knew he was insecure about.
most read in fabulous
“He ignored me for a while but I kept doing it, until he finally snapped and messaged me in January 2018. I’d never heard him sound so upsetand, for the first time, I realised how hurtful my words could be. I felt so guilty and apologised. I also confided in a friend about what I’d been doing. Although we are still friends, she was horrified and said I should be ashamed of myself. Owning up to her made it all the more real.”
Since then, Kate hasn’t trolled anyone. “It was like a switch flicked in my brain and I realised how damaging my behaviour was, both for my victims and myself. I haven’t been to therapy, but I’ve deleted social media from my phone,” she says. “When I do get an urge to go online, I distract myself with a book or take myself to bed. Sometimes I think I should write and apologise to everyone I’ve trolled, but other times I just think it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie. I know what I did was wrong and I don’t want to cause any more pain.”
Emma, meanwhile, is still suffering from the effects of her troll. “I’m wary of social media,” she says. “I used to love using Facebook to catch up with friends and family, but now I only use it for my business. More needs to be done to protect people from trolls, because it can feel like there’s no way out.”
HOW TO BEAT CYBER BULLIES
- Resist the urge to respond – block trolls immediately.
- Record and report the incident to social media and/or the police.
- Reach out in crisis by texting free support line Shout on 85258.
Sources: **YouGov ***Bark.com †Science Direct.