Three women reveal why they never want kids – from hating their ‘mess’ to wanting to be sterilised at 19
HAVING kids seems to have lost its appeal, as more and more women opt out of procreation.
Last month, reality TV star Jeff Brazier, 40, revealed that his 29-year-old wife Kate has had a “change of heart” when it comes to getting pregnant with her hubby.
The couple’s marriage is now reportedly on the rocks.
Similarly, former Big Brother winner Kate Lawler has opened up about her fiance, Martin – better known as Boj – feeling broody, while she has “never had a loud biological clock ticking”.
But, the lack of baby-making isn’t just a movement among celebrities.
We talk to three women about why they don’t want kids and how they tackle the stigma they face daily that women should be maternal.
"When I was 19, I asked my GP if I could be sterilised"
Catherine Renton, 37, has never had the mummy gene. She is divorced and lives in Edinburgh, where she works as a journalist.
Her marriage partly ended because she had a miscarriage and realised she didn’t want kids.
Catherine says: "I wanted to get sterilised at 19 so I’d never have to worry about getting pregnant, but my GP told me it was a stupid idea, because I might change my mind. Well, that still hasn’t happened.
"At 22, I got married to a 29-year-old man who had said he wasn’t bothered about kids.
"Then, despite being on the pill, I accidentally fell pregnant. It felt panicked, like something in my body was wrong. When I was at eight weeks, I miscarried.
";My husband was devastated but I was just relieved, my body was my own again.
"It made him realise that he wanted a family, and it’s probably one of the main reasons we split up.
"Since my divorce, when I tell men I don’t want kids, they think it somehow makes me an ice queen.
"Strangers and colleagues also give me weird reactions when they find out, it’s like someone has smelled something bad.
When I was at eight weeks, I miscarried - my husband was devastated but I just felt relieved.
Catherine Renton
"I do worry about what will happen when I get older, but having been a carer myself for my parents, it’s made me kind of glad that I won’t put someone through the same thing.
"Though I’m trying to be nice to my niece and nephew, just in case.
"They’re just so messy, expensive and loud."
"I don't like children - I can’t stand the noise, the screaming or the messiness"
Trish Tothova, 24, doesn’t like children. She is single and lives in Leeds.
She believes that having kids would ruin her life plan.
Trish says: "There are three reasons why I don’t want a child. To start with, I’m a very career-driven person and want to be successful – and if I had to choose one or the other, I’d always choose my job.
"There are plenty of people who work full-time and have children, but they still have to stop their life for a year, and women who want both are often stuck in the middle.
"It may sound selfish but I want to be able to enjoy the successes in my life, and becoming a parent just makes me think of what I’d lose.
"I love to explore and travel, and I want to be able to get up, book my holiday and go anywhere.
"Kids are also expensive, even if you have a high income you have to give up a certain amount of money for them and put your own life on hold.
I just don't like being around children.
Trish Tothova
"Finally, I just don’t like being around children. I don’t connect to them in the same way other people do – I can’t stand the noise, the screaming, the messiness and the idea of constantly having to pick up after someone.
"So many of my friends and family have said that I’m making the wrong decision or that I’ll regret it in 10, 15 or 20 years, but I trust myself enough to know what I want out of life.
"There’s no time in my life for children."
"I was sexually abused as a child, up until I turned 17, and I can imagine that’s influenced my decision"
Marilyn Devonish, 51, decided she didn’t want kids when she was seven years old.
She was sexually abused as a child, which she says is likely to have influenced her decision. She works as a coach and therapist, is single and lives in Watford.
Marilyn says: "When I was a child, there was a voice speaking to me internally, saying that having kids isn’t for me.
"I’ve had astrology and clairvoyant readings about it, too. One woman laughed and told me that the world has plans for me and work for me to do on this planet, but there’s no time for children.
"The readings confirmed what seven-year-old me already knew.
"I was also sexually abused as a child, up until I turned 17, and I can imagine that’s influenced my decision in some shape or form.
"To me, it felt like ‘if this is what childhood is, I’m not going to do that to another human being’.
"Interestingly, even though I don’t want kids, they seem to like me – I can communicate with them in a way they understand.
If this is what childhood is, I’m not going to do that to another human being
Marilyn Devonish
"I’m on this planet to work with children, but they don’t have to
be my own for me to do that.
"Not having kids means I have the freedom to do what I want in my life, trying pole fitness at 45, travelling, and now doing ballet at age 51.
"As for the future, I have a friend who also doesn’t want kids, and we’ve decided that when we grow old, we’ll just move in together and look after each other."
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