My toddler helped bury his daddy after stabbing – now I take him to play football on his grave
PLAYING on a narrow strip of grass, 18-month-old Carter Bagshaw kicks a tiny football as hard as he can then runs after it.
"More," he laughs as it wobbles onto the freshly dug dirt. His mum Olivia Keeley, 20, hands the ball back, careful not to disturb the flowers she’s just laid.
The mother and son aren't playing in their local park, they are visiting the grave where little Carter helped to bury his own dad - after the scaffolder was stabbed on a night out with friends in July.
A heartbreaking photo of the toddler shovelling soil onto his 21-year-old dad Lewis Bagshaw's coffin was released just a few weeks ago, in a bid to end knife crime.
It became symbolic of Britain's stabbing epidemic - and the impact on those who are left to bury their relatives.
Speaking exclusively to Fabulous Digital, Lewis' girlfriend Olivia, from Southey, Sheffield, said: "Carter loves digging and when he saw the man with the shovel, he grabbed it and wanted to help move the dirt.
"I didn’t know he was going to do that and it so sad, but maybe seeing that picture will make people think about what happens when people carry and use weapons.
"How often do we watch stories about knife crime on the news and people just switch off and go and eat their tea?
"They forget about it the moment it’s over, but I can’t forget about it.
That’s the reality of knife crime - a woman who’s broken and a little boy playing football on his daddy’s grave
Olivia Keeley
"I’ve loved Lewis since the moment I saw him in primary school and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
"The last time I saw him was in the morgue. I had to go back four times as I really couldn’t believe he was dead.
"That’s the reality of knife crime - a woman who’s broken and a little boy playing football on his daddy’s grave."
Lewis was buried on September 18.
Olivia added: "Carter is a mini Lewis. He loves motorbikes. Whenever he sees a bike he goes ‘vroom, vroom, Daddy.’
"That’s why - even though it sounds weird - he had a good day at Lewis’ funeral.
"There were motorbikes and pictures of Lewis everywhere. Whenever Carter sees his picture he says ‘Daddy.’
Carter is so young and photos are all he has. I don’t know how much he will remember Lewis when he’s older
Olivia Keeley
"I’ve told him Daddy has gone on a motorbike to the stars. We go outside at night so he can blow a kiss to daddy. He knows Lewis is not here but he doesn’t really understand.
"All he wants is my phone so he can look at the photos and videos of Lewis. He thinks the videos are of Lewis talking to him and he hates giving the phone back.
"He’s so young and they are all he has. I don’t know how much he will remember Lewis when he’s older, but I will tell him all about him and how perfect he was."
Barmaid Olivia has been on medication since Lewis was killed in July and says her son, who was born in May last year, is the only thing keeping her going.
She said: "I get by one day at a time - he gives me a reason to get up in the morning and to think there’s something to live for.
"I thought that life was all about finding The One, falling in love and having a family. I found all that with Lewis, I was so happy.
"If I could go back four months ago when I had everything I would. Now it’s all been taken away from me."
I said there had been a mistake. I kept saying 'you can’t mean my Lewis. He can’t be dead'
Olivia Keeley
Olivia can't speak about Lewis' death in any detail, ahead of a trial at Sheffield Crown Court in January.
Police reports show they were called to a house in the Longley area of Sheffield at 10.15pm on Sunday July 21, where a 21-year-old man had stab wounds to the chest. He was rushed to hospital, where he died.
Olivia said: "Lewis had decided to go out with his friends and visit his nana, who raised him.
"She’s 76 and they were so close. He worried about her and he’d hardly ever been out since we had Carter.
"I told him to go out and enjoy himself. He said that he would take Carter out to the Tropical Butterfly Room the next day and off he went.
"I got a phone call at 10.30pm to say he’d been stabbed. I was shocked but thought he’d been stabbed in the arm or the leg.
"I didn’t for one second think that he would die. But when I arrived at the hospital they told me Lewis was dead.
"I said there had been a mistake and told them to double check. I kept saying 'you can’t mean my Lewis. He can’t be dead.'
"But they insisted. I couldn’t see him as his body was now evidence and they needed to do an autopsy the next day. I still don’t even know where he was stabbed."
The couple first met at primary school and started dating when they were 15.
Olivia gushed: "I liked him from the moment I saw him. He would run after me to play kiss chase and lived nearby, but after we left that school we lost touch.
"When I was 15, I looked outside and saw Lewis talking to my uncle outside my grandad’s house.
"I was so excited and went outside to say hello. He took my phone number and that was that.
I was head over heels in love with him straight away. Lewis was everything to me. He was polite, kind and caring
Olivia Keeley
"I was head over heels in love with him straight away. Lewis was everything to me. He was polite, kind, caring and would do anything for everyone.
"I found out I was pregnant when I was 19. When I told Lewis, he broke down. He was so happy and did everything for me throughout the pregnancy.
"He even came into the birthing pool with me as I was in labour, and the look on his face when he held Carter was beautiful.
"He loved him so much and would change his nappies and play with him. They were amazing together."
The couple had plans to have another baby and get married, but were never able to follow through with these.
Olivia said: "We had been talking about trying for another baby in October.
"Both Lewis and I were only children and we didn’t want Carter to be lonely. We wanted him to have a little brother or sister.
"We were going to get engaged after that, and married when the children were older.
Look at my baby. He’s lost his daddy - I hope seeing his photo stops one person from picking up a knife
Olivia Keeley
"We had just got our own house and had it all mapped out. Now I face a future on my own and it’s terrifying.
"It was Lewis' birthday on October 3 and we'd talked about going for a meal, then to the play centre.
"We’ve booked a holiday in Alicante, Spain, for the three of us next May. I don’t know what to do now Lewis isn’t here.
"I used to look forward to the future, now I see Christmas without him and the trial next year."
Olivia is calling for an end to knife crime. "What possesses people to even pick up a knife?" she sobbed.
"It needs to stop. Look at my baby. He’s lost his daddy - I hope seeing his photo stops one person from picking up a knife.
"My Lewis never harmed anyone and now he’s lying in his grave."
The noises Olivia made when she was told about Lewis’ death are the worst I’ve ever heard. They were raw, of a woman breaking
Olivia’s mum Sharon
Her mum Sharon added: "I couldn’t have asked for a nicer boyfriend for Olivia. My daughter had to be heavily medicated for the first months after Lewis died just to cope.
"The anguish and the grief she is going through has been terrible - the noises she made when she was told about Lewis’ death are the worst I’ve ever heard.
"They were raw, of a woman breaking."
Jervaise Bennett, 20, Callum Ramsey, 18, and a 16-year-old boy, who cannot be named for legal reasons, have been charged with Lewis’s murder.
Lewis' family are asking people to sign a petition to end knife crime. You can .
Last week, we spoke to a woman who almost died at 17 when a twisted stranger stabbed her, ripping her kidney apart.