‘I’m starting 2020 fitter & sexier with a dancing pole installed in my home but my neighbour thought I was a stripper’

NEW year inevitably brings an influx of new gym joiners who are guaranteed to be bored with their workout by March.

But an increasing number of fitness fans are turning to poles to keep their workout exciting with 10 dedicated schools in London and many more in Manchester, Birmingham and Brighton.

It's a trend that's set to continue in 2020 - with many women now having poles installed in their homes.

When the relationship between Boris Johnson and Jennifer Arcuri hit the headlines last year, it was revealed the businesswoman had a permanent dancing pole in her Shoreditch flat.

According to her ex-boyfriend Joe Yukich, Johnson was said to be “taken by [the] ability” of the pole-dancing Ms Arcuri.

So why do women put up dancing poles in their home and what do their friends, husbands and family think? We speak to four women to find out.

'My neighbour thought I stripped for men at home'

Zana Issartel, 29, is a mobile hairdresser and lives in Ware, Hertfordshire
“I got rid of my dining room table and chairs six years ago so I could have a pole in my living room. I was on holiday in Ibiza and saw some girls doing pole fitness and I really wanted to give it a try.

None of my friends were interested in going to classes so I just found a pole on Gumtree and put it up in my living room then started practising, later joining classes so I’d get better at it.

Admittedly, my friends thought it was a bit strange at first but now they’re used to it and whenever people come over – whether my friends or my boyfriend’s friends – they always have a swing on it and give it a go.

At first, I was quite shy and wouldn’t use it in any kind of foreplay with my boyfriend. By the time I got my confidence up, he was bored with the idea and wasn’t really interested.

There have definitely been some awkward moments. My landlord came round once to inspect the kitchen and said, 'Oh, you’ve got a pole. I didn’t realise.' He wouldn’t look me in the eye and I just laughed it off.

Another time a workman came round and said some silly comment like: 'I didn’t realise I’d come round to inspect you on the pole.' I got rid of him pretty quick.

Then a new neighbour moved in next door and when I was chatting to her, she said: 'I hope you don’t mind me asking, but are you a home stripper? Do you have people round and dance for them?' I couldn’t stop laughing.

I upload a lot of pictures to Facebook and when I see people in real life they tell me how weird it is to see me standing upright. 'I normally see you upside down or with your legs wide open,' they chuckle. It is a bit embarrassing.

My family is supportive of my pole dancing but occasionally my mum will ask if I have to post so many pictures on Facebook. She’s not crazy about how public I am with it.

People are always saying how my boyfriend must love me dancing because I can get into all sorts of weird and wonderful positions, but he is so used to it, nothing is further from the truth.

He would rather just play on his PlayStation. But that doesn’t bother me – it’s made me feel so confident.”

'Men are so embarrassed and awkward when they see the pole'

Carolina Hades, 26, is a single PhD student and blogger on bloggeronpole.com. She lives in London

"I’ve been pole dancing for three years and put a pole up in the living room/kitchen last year when I moved in because it was cheaper and more comfortable than training all week at a pole studio.

Contrary to what most people think, my sex life hasn’t received a boost. I’ve discussed this with some pole friends and we agreed that our sex drives have actually slightly decreased.

It’s not that we don’t want to have sex but we get a lot of the same positive effects - confidence boost, adrenaline, endorphins - from pole dancing.

Some men I date see it as a fetish and respond in a creepy way, looking at me lewdly and saying stupid things like, 'Would you ride my pole?' or 'Can you give me a lap dance?'

Needless to say, they don’t get a second date.

But those that respect what I do and are curious and genuinely interested, I may want to see again.

'Men don't like the lap dances because they're not in control'

I have done a lap dancing routine for a boyfriend but as the power is mine and they just have to watch, they’ll often say, 'Right, are we done, now?' They don’t like relinquishing control.

Occasionally workmen will come into the flat and see the pole and ask, 'Is this a stripper pole?'

I’ll say, 'Yes, it is' and they raise their eyebrows but they won’t say anything as they’re too embarrassed.

My mum was actually the one who recommended I take up pole dancing as I used to be into gymnastics and she thought I’d really enjoy it.

She and dad came to one of my showcases where I was wearing nothing but skimpy pants, nipple tassels and heels and they’re very supportive - although Dad doesn’t like the heels much and he fell asleep during one of my cabaret acts!

Pole dancing and the community has made me feel sexier and much more confident in my own skin. I didn’t start with the idea of pleasing a boyfriend, but just myself.

When we were recently censored on social media for our x-rated pictures and routines, we got together nearly 20,000 signatures and got Instagram and Facebook to apologise for excessive censorship. Pole dancing is what we do to express ourselves and it shouldn’t be up to a private company like Facebook to say that women’s bodies are inappropriate.”

'I've cracked a rib and broken a foot'

Care assistant Hayley Garbutt, 51, is a married mum-of-three with four grandchildren. She lives in Hunmanby, North Yorkshire

'I took up the pole five years ago because I’d started to put some weight on. I needed something else to do in my evenings to keep the pounds off.

Gym bunnies can be quite false but women who do pole have got hearts of gold.

A lot of people think it means you are a stripper. I constantly have to tell them  I do it for fitness purposes only. I’ve had loads of dirty messages online.

On the plus side I’m more confident and a lot of the girls in my class blossomed too.

My belief is that it’s for ladies of all ages and sizes.

It has made me more confident and sexy. My hubby Maurice loves it so much that he set up a pole in our conservatory for me to practice. I’ve also got one in the garden.

When I first started I was black and blue. I’ve had bruises on my inner thighs and my knees.

Doing the fireman pole position on the pole is a killer on the skin when you slide down.  A dry pole can take the top layer of your skin off. I’ve cracked a rib and broken my foot too.

‘My pole dancing helped my husband over cancer'

I like to ‘pole it’ three times a week. You can’t have too much on it makes it impossible to do certain movements otherwise. I usually wear a sports bra and hot pants - that's it.

My hubby Maurice loves it. He was recovering from cancer when I first started and convalesced at home. I like to think my moves helped his recovery!

For those who reckon it’s easy – it isn’t. I’ve got strong upper body and strong legs and arms too.

Some people think having a pole at home is sleazy. Your legs are wide open for certain positions. Why is it inappropriate? What’s the difference to gymnastics? If anything it’s family entertainment.

Even my granddaughter does it with me. It’s great for my love life too. Why wouldn’t you have a pole at home?

'I coax my husband upstairs but he usually pops out a hip'

Natalie Thomas, 40, is a railway signal operator who lives in Crewe, Cheshire

“I joined Nantwich Pole Fitness in November 2017 because I’d seen an advert on social media and always hated the gym and thought it sounded a fun way of exercising.

As a larger woman, at first, I’d go to classes and wear baggy t-shirts and sweatpants because I was conscious of my body but I quickly built up my confidence and switched to sports bra and shorts. You need the skin to grip.

I bought my own home pole so I could practice at home when I couldn’t get to the classes because of the odd timing of my shifts.

I keep it in my upstairs bedroom and I do wonder if the old dude from next door might be having an eyeful when I’m practising.

People think pole dancing is all about being sexy but the facial expressions I make when I’m trying to get my bum above my head looks like I’m constipated!

For me, it’s the unsexiest sport in the world and you end up with bruises all over. I’ve had people ask, “are you ok?” because I look like a beaten wife.

'I kept it from my male co-workers for a year'

My husband is one of the few men that don’t like strip clubs or lap dancers so he hates it and he couldn’t really understand why I’d bought the pole. He gets embarrassed that I pole dance, but he respects that it's for exercise and not for sex.

On occasion, I've learnt a new move and I coax him upstairs to teach it to him, but invariably he either pops out a hip, or collapses in a heap but we do have a laugh together about it!

I’m quite open about my pole dancing and have even coaxed my brother’s mother-in-law, whose in her mid-50s, to come upstairs and give it a go. Everyone just finds it intriguing. As a larger woman, no one seems to think I am trying to be a stripper.

I work in a male-oriented environment – there are just 120 women out of 4.500 men – so I kept my pole dancing quiet for 12 months because I wasn’t sure how people would react.

When I did come out and tell people, there was obviously the odd comment like, 'I’ve got a pole you can sit on' but I’m always ready with a snappy retort to take the mick out of them. Most of the comments aren’t pervy but more just banter.

Since starting pole dancing, I’ve lost two stone, toned up and I’m never bored because it’s so challenging. The next stage is to get out there and do a showcase for the public. Maybe one day.”