My partner’s always on the phone to his married ex and it’s driving me absolutely mad

DEAR DEIDRE: IT came as a surprise when I phoned my partner’s married ex – who he still calls every day – and she didn’t know I existed.

We are in our forties and are both divorced. My partner was having an affair with this married Brazilian woman before he met me.

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She’s 39 and I think she ended it to focus on her marriage, but I wonder if he is still in love with her. He says he loves me so why does he need to call her? He knows I’m not comfortable with it.

I don’t want to come across like the jealous psycho girlfriend but am I just being used to cook his meals and do his washing?

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s no wonder you feel uneasy.

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Tell your partner that you know he regularly calls his former (you hope) lover.

Say you want to know how you can strengthen your relationship so he no longer feels the need, because of course it’s undermining your relationship together and your trust.

However, this will only be effective if you’re prepared to walk if he doesn’t show more respect for your feelings.

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