I’m devastated to learn my stepdaughter has been slagging me off to her brother

DEAR DEIDRE: I OVERHEARD my stepdaughter slagging me off to her brother. I’m devastated.

I’ve been married to their mum for 15 years and my stepchildren are 30 and 25.

I’m 53 and I’ve done everything for them, bringing them up as I did my own daughter, who is 27.

My stepdaughter lost her job, then her boyfriend dumped her, so now she’s back at home.

I heard her on the phone telling her brother I’d brainwashed their mum. She said I see my daughter as “perfect” and I “look down my nose” at both of them.

She said she’ll “f***ing disown” us when she finds a new place to live. I can’t look at her any more. I’m numb.

DEIDRE SAYS: It stings of course, but you caught her in an off moment. She’s not in a good place, having had to move back in with parents and probably feels a failure.

Her outburst is more a reflection of how angry she feels about her own situation than a realistic view of your role in her life.

She will be extra sensitive at the moment, so pick your words carefully.

Change a negative into a positive by taking an interest in her life, helping her with job applications etc.