I’m devastated to learn my stepdaughter has been slagging me off to her brother

DEAR DEIDRE: I OVERHEARD my stepdaughter slagging me off to her brother. I’m devastated.

I’ve been married to their mum for 15 years and my stepchildren are 30 and 25.

1

I’m 53 and I’ve done everything for them, bringing them up as I did my own daughter, who is 27.

My stepdaughter lost her job, then her boyfriend dumped her, so now she’s back at home.

I heard her on the phone telling her brother I’d brainwashed their mum. She said I see my daughter as “perfect” and I “look down my nose” at both of them.

She said she’ll “f***ing disown” us when she finds a new place to live. I can’t look at her any more. I’m numb.

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DEIDRE SAYS: It stings of course, but you caught her in an off moment. She’s not in a good place, having had to move back in with parents and probably feels a failure.

Her outburst is more a reflection of how angry she feels about her own situation than a realistic view of your role in her life.

She will be extra sensitive at the moment, so pick your words carefully.

Change a negative into a positive by taking an interest in her life, helping her with job applications etc.

Get support via Family Lives (, 0808 800 2222).

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