I do everything for cancer-hit mum but she makes my life miserable

DEAR DEIDRE: MUM has been diagnosed with cancer. Her partner and I keep her house in order, pay her bills, and do the gardening, shopping and banking – but it’s never enough.

She speaks to us as if we are to blame – despite the fact we do everything we can for her.

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I’m 46 and my mum is 74. Her partner is 75. I was invited to visit some friends but my mum told me that I couldn’t leave her alone.

I’ve been in this situation for eight months and my friends rarely invite me out now, even for a coffee, as I always have to say I can’t. Am I being selfish?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Not at all. You are entitled to time out. If this is out of character for your mum, my guess is she’s covering up her fears about her diagnosis.

The very word “cancer” can strike fear into us.

Macmillan Cancer Support can help you, your mum and her partner (, 0808 808 0000).

My e-leaflet When Someone Close To You Has Cancer Diagnosed will help too.

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