I’m having passionate sex with work lover now she wants to ditch fiance for me
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DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been having passionate sex with the newest recruit at work.
But to my horror she has said she is planning to call off her engagement to be with me.
The truth is that I don’t even fancy her very much. We are both 22 and I got talking to her when she joined my work.
I could see she was eyeing me up and I admit I played along with it, not having the least thought about where it would all lead.
I suppose I was flattered that she chose to chat to me.
It was stupid but I suggested we spend our lunch break together one day. She agreed. We talked so much we had to rush to get back to work on time.
Being together during our break became a regular thing and then one day I suggested she come round to my place in the evening because we had so much to say to one another.
I still live with my parents but they were away at the time. A drink sitting together on the sofa led to a kiss and this led to more.
When I suggested we go upstairs, she agreed. The sex was great.
I had parted from my previous girlfriend some months before and I was really missing the sex.
To me, this is all it was — sex. Whenever my parents were out, she came for the evening and our sessions got steamier and steamier.
Then one day she dropped the bombshell.
She was going to tell her fiancé it was over because she had met someone else.
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She said that as they had been planning to marry in the autumn and had got some way with the arrangements, she had to get on and stop them before it was too late.
I cannot believe my face didn’t show the horror I felt but, if it did, she didn’t notice.
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She took my hand and started going on about the wonderful life we would have together.
She was even talking about how many kids we would have. I’m panicking.
DEIDRE SAYS: You must not let this situation drift on any longer, that’s for sure.
You have to find a way of letting this girl down gently but immediately.
You know she will be hurt and it will feel really cruel to let her down, but keep your thoughts on the alternative.
It would be more cruel to let this continue so she shows her fiancé the door and then turns to you, only to find you are no longer there for her.
Don’t try to manipulate her into finishing with you either.
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Be honest about not wanting an ongoing relationship, saying you’ve realised you’re not ready to commit to anyone.
But don’t say you never really fancied her or that you never really cared for her.
Say you will treasure memories of the times you had together.
Be prepared for distress and tears but don’t back down or you will have to face it all again another day.
And be ready for colleagues at work to take a dim view of how you’ve behaved.
You can’t say you don’t deserve it.