My ex-partner ruined my life by exposing my secret escort past — and now my two kids have disowned me
Read Deidre's personal replies to today's issues
DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner encouraged me to become an escort because he said I was good at sex.
It was the worst decision I have ever made. I feel as though I have ruined my life and can’t see a future.
I am a 37-year-old single mum. I met a guy seven months ago and we got together. He said I was a great-looking girl and good at sex.
He’s 44 and he asked if I’d ever been paid for sex. I said I hadn’t and he said I should give it a go. He knew I had money worries.
I thought about it for a few weeks and then decided to give it a try with help from him.
He found my customers. They paid him and he paid me which saved me a lot of hassle. At the time I must admit the experience gave me a bit of a thrill.
I did escort work for the next six months although I didn’t enjoy it all the time. Some of the guys I met were really sleazy but it felt like I was stuck in a rut and I didn’t know how to get out of it.
I told my partner how I felt and we ended up arguing. He then told me I was just a glorified hooker and called me other horrible names, too.
We split up but he told people about what I’d been doing. I didn’t think about the ramifications if it ever came out.
I now feel as though I am the worst person on Earth. People are right when they call me names but it doesn’t make it any easier.
I have never felt so low in all of my life. I did contemplate running away. I’m struggling to find a full-time job. My two kids disowned me and went to live with their dad. I only have one friend left and I know our friendship is ruined, although she does still speak to me.
I am not looking for sympathy — I don’t deserve it. I just need some help in seeing a way forward to a better future for myself.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You must stop beating yourself up. You’ve freed yourself from a job that wasn’t your idea which you took on perhaps out of naivety plus financial need.
That guy was pimping you out and I’m afraid he didn’t have your best interests at heart.
You have already taken a brilliant first step into a better future and shown how strong you are.
Be determined to accept that what is past is past and done with. You now have the opportunity to make a fresh start, so grab it positively.
Rebuild bridges with your children. My e-leaflet Help For Job Hunters lists lots of suggestions and sources of guidance.
It feels horrible to be isolated but soon enough somebody else will be the source of the gossip.
Your friend will respect the new you and hopefully you will soon meet someone who values you for yourself, too.
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