I’ll never forgive my mum if she follows through with her threats and doesn’t come to my wedding
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Dear Deidre
EVERY time we have words, my mum says she won’t come to my wedding. I am getting very frustrated at how she plays with my emotions.
My fiancé and I are 24 and have been together for two years. I was over the moon when he proposed six months ago but since we set a date, my mum has made life hell.
She says the wedding will be a joke. I have no idea why she thinks that but she keeps refusing to come.
The first time she said it, I begged her to come. After a few days, she changed her mind. It is now a regular thing.
We bumped into my dad’s sister last weekend and she was saying how excited she is for me and how much she is looking forward to the big day.
Mum was polite while we were talking but immediately afterwards, she said: “That’s it – I don’t want to be at a do with her.”
I was furious with her and lost my temper. I told Mum to stay away if that’s how she feels but I would never forgive her if she misses my wedding.
DEIDRE SAYS: Weddings all too often bring out the worst in families.
Your mum is nervous about your wedding but the reasons are likely to be more to do with how she feels about herself than with either you or your fiancé or the wedding itself.
Try to involve her more in the plans. Deep down she may lack confidence and her attacking remarks are a cover for her insecurities.
Stay calm next time she threatens to stay away.
It is a demand for attention and it’s best you do not rise to the bait. Remember this is your day, not hers.
My e-leaflet Wedding Worries? will help you handle the family tensions.
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