Boyfriend’s response when I started questioning my sexuality has only confused me more

Dear Deidre

I TOLD my boyfriend I think I may be bisexual and he said the answer would be to try a threesome.

We started watching porn together recently and I found myself thinking about other women sexually. I am unsure whether I am bisexual or just bi-curious and I mentioned it to my boyfriend.

He thinks having a threesome with another girl would help me decide. He has had threesomes before but I have not.

He is 35, I am 27. We have been together two years but we find it hard to trust each other and we are always checking the other’s phones.

We have discussed threesomes and we wonder whether this would build trust between us.

Would this help us accept that the sex act does not define a relationship and build trust that we do not sleep with other people behind each other’s back?

DEIDRE SAYS: This may seem like the answer but it will only cause more problems than it solves.

You already find it hard to trust each other and having a threesome would only make it even more difficult.

Seeing your partner sexually active with someone else is very likely to make one or both of you feel insecure or jealous. Forget the idea.

If you seriously wonder if you are bi, my e-leaflet Bisexual Issues will help you think it through.

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