I’ve been bedding my ‘uncle’ and now his son is blackmailing me into having sex too
Read Deidre's personal replies to today's problems
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM already in deep water after having a fling with my aunt’s new husband – and now his son is blackmailing me into having sex with him too.
I am 20, my aunt is 42 and her husband is 40. I found him attractive the first time we met at their engagement party but I never acted on my feelings.
At a recent family get-together, we were laughing, joking and flirting.
He went outside to his car and I followed.
He said he was glad I did, as that’s what he wanted.
He needed petrol to drive some family home afterwards and asked if I wanted to go for a drive in his new car.
We drove out of town instead of to the garage. He parked up and kissed me, saying he’d wanted to all evening.
We had sex on the back seat. It was amazing.
I didn’t let on he was my first lover and now we text all the time. He is romantic, funny, kind and sensitive.
I went to his house last weekend while my aunt was at her mum’s and we had sex again.
We talked about our future but decided to keep things as they are for the time being.
He doesn’t want to upset my aunt and nor do I.
When I got home, his son texted, asking me to call his mobile.
He said he “had something important to say to me”.
I called and he said: “You didn’t see me but I walked in on you and Dad this afternoon. I know what’s going on.”
I begged him not to tell anyone.
Then he said he understood what his dad saw in me, as he fancied me too.
He said he’d keep quiet if I had sex with him. What do I do?
It’s just a bit of fun with his dad, though I can’t give him up.
The last thing I want, though, is to ruin his marriage — and for my whole family to find out.
DEIDRE SAYS: Tell his son you really hope he will not spill the beans but you are not going to be emotionally blackmailed into having sex with him.
Tell your lover what his son has seen and is saying to you.
He has as much reason as you – if not more – to want his son to keep quiet about what he saw.
If nothing else, this has proved you are playing a risky game.
You say you do not want your aunt to get hurt, to ruin her marriage or for your family to find out yet that is exactly what will happen if things carry on as they are.
You say you cannot give him up but he is offering you nothing.
He does not want your aunt to know and he is unlikely to walk away from his marriage.
You will go on being the other woman, which will not be enough for you in the long-term – especially given the age difference.
Show you are mature enough to end it now.
Then move on and find someone your own age who you don’t have to keep secret.
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