Family are furious over my hot sex with brother’s sister in law
Read Deidre's personal replies to today's problems
DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS having hot secret sex with the sister of my brother’s wife until we got caught naked together one day.
My family are furious and I can’t see her any more.
Our affair began by chance. We were both out shopping and bumped into one another.
She was a bridesmaid and I was best man at my brother’s wedding last year, so we had lots to catch up on.
It was cold as we chatted so I put my arm round her.
She suggested we have a coffee at her sister’s house, where she was living at the time. Everyone else was out.
I kept my arm round her as the house was chilly too and this led to me giving her a kiss.
It was all a bit of a joke at first but I suddenly realised I found her really attractive and we got closer.
After a while we went up to the spare room, where she was staying, and we had wonderful sex.
After that we had sex several times when the house was empty.
All was well until my brother and her sister came back early one day after a family visit.
I ran into the bathroom, passing my brother on the way. His wife found her sister in the spare bedroom with nothing on.
She is 22 and I am 27 so we are both adults, but it was horrendous.
My sister-in-law went through the roof.
I went home and got a call from my father saying my mother would never speak to me again.
They are making me feel I have betrayed everyone but I cannot see that we did anything so very dreadful.
Neither I nor the sister are in a regular relationship, so it is not as if we are cheating on anyone.
I apologised to my brother and he was OK with it but his wife walked out on him, saying she felt ashamed and angry.
I think I have fallen in love with this girl but there is no future for us if the whole family make us out to be criminals.
We are not blood relatives so there is no incest.
It seems so unfair and I miss her so much.
DEIDRE SAYS: The family have overreacted but, to be fair, no one expects to chance on two family members naked in the spare room.
You are right that there is no reason why you and your sister-in-law’s sister should not have a relationship if you really care for one another.
Ask your brother if he will talk to the others and explain that although you are sorry to have shocked them, you were not doing anything illegal or immoral.
When he has reported back, contact each one yourself separately and say you are sorry that you upset them.
It is very unfair that you and this girl you care for should be treated this way.
Talk to her too and make sure she understands she has not done anything wrong. Say you hope the rest of the family will come round in time.
Meanwhile, you two had probably best find somewhere else to meet.
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