Toyboy lover I’ve been sleeping with behind my husband’s back dumped me – how can he do this to me?

DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS caught up in a whirlwind of an affair with my stepson’s best friend, but I’ve been dumped a week before Valentine’s Day.

I genuinely thought we shared something special, and I can’t believe he’s thrown me aside like this, especially as he told me he was taking me away for a romantic weekend.

I’m 46, and I’ve been married for seven years. My husband is 54 and has a 28-year-old son.

For the first few years our relationship was amazing, but since he accepted a new job that involves lots of travelling abroad, we have become disconnected.

It’s safe to say that his absence made me feel lonely and neglected, so when my stepson’s friend made a pass at me, I struggled to resist his attention.

He was young, handsome and charismatic. It felt good to be desired again.

We’d been sneaking around for weeks, and while I initially thought it was only sexual, we started to fall for each other.

The late-night romps turned into fancy dinner dates and walks in the park, and I stupidly started to believe that we may have a future.

He was constantly telling me how much he liked me. He said it was more than sex and that he wanted a romantic getaway for Valentine’s.

So when he decided to end things over text, I was gobsmacked.

I was even more surprised when I found out through my stepson that my lover had rekindled things with his ex.

Now I’m completely heartbroken. How could he do this to me?

DEIDRE SAYS: Passionate affairs can feel all-encompassing, and that intensity can obscure the reality of a relationship.

As hard as it is to accept, ending your affair was the right thing to do.

While it’s understandable you’re hurting, you need to start thinking about your marriage and husband that you made a commitment to.

It’s clear you’re feeling neglected in your relationship, so it’s crucial you take the time to communicate and tell him how you’re feeling.

Before you give up on your marriage, you at least owe it to yourself to work on things.

Don’t leave because you have a man by your side, leave because you’re unhappy.

My support pack, Relationship MoT, will help you have this conversation.

WERE WHITE ROSES A SIGN HE HAS LOST INTEREST?

DEAR DEIDRE: FOR months I’ve been worried my husband is falling out of love with me, so when he bought me white roses for Valentine’s Day, it confirmed all my fears.

I know it sounds silly, but it feels so symbolic. Everyone knows that the red ones signify true love.

I’m 52, my husband is 56, and we’ve been married for 25 years.

We used to have such a loving relationship, but over the last few years, things between us have started to shift.

My husband has started spending more time at work, and I can’t remember the last time he took me out on a date.

The last few months have been especially hard, and I’ve been so down thinking about our relationship and how little time he has for me. So receiving the white roses has really set me off.

He says I’m being ridiculous and that he thought the white ones looked nicer.

Yet, I can’t help but think there’s more to it. Am I being ridiculous?

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s clear this isn’t about the flowers and is more about the deeper issues in your relationship.

If anything is going to change, you need to communicate with your husband and tell him how you’ve been feeling.

It’s clear you’ve both become disconnected and need to work on things. Relationship counselling will help. Try .

My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, will also help you work things through.

BLOKE LETS EX DISRESPECT ME

DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE the moment my boyfriend and I got together, his ex-wife – the mother of his kids – has been intent on making my life miserable.

The worst part is that despite everything she’s done, he won’t even so much as stick up for me, and I’m losing my patience.

I’m 39, he’s 48, and we’ve been together for four years. His ex is 42, and they have two teenage sons.

They mutually decided to get divorced more than three years before we met, so I can’t understand where her animosity has come from.

Since our first meeting, she has made it clear that she doesn’t like me and has tried her hardest to isolate me from my boyfriend’s family.

Every family gathering I attend, she either blatantly ignores me or spends her time making snide remarks. She’s even gone as far as bad-mouthing me to their kids and my partner’s parents.

My boyfriend refuses to stick up for me and won’t even allow me to defend myself.

He says it will cause more harm than good and potentially damage his relationship with his kids. I’m sick of being treated like a complete outsider.

DEIDRE SAYS: If one thing is true, blended families are difficult.

It does sound like your partner’s ex is making things hard for you.

While it’s unfair of her to act this way towards you, it’s your boyfriend who should be trying to resolve the problem.

It’s understandable that he wants to keep the peace, but this should never come at the expense of your relationship or your feelings.

Find a quiet and calm moment to sit him down and tell him how this is affecting you.

Say that if your relationship is going to last, his ex’s behaviour cannot continue.

My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, can help you have this conversation.