My wife got pregnant but wanted a termination – as she wasn’t sure who father was

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my wife got pregnant, she insisted on a termination, saying she couldn’t be sure who the father was – me or a guy at work.

I was doubly heartbroken – firstly because she aborted the baby, secondly because she had cheated on me.

I am 43 and my wife is 36. We met five years ago. It was a whirlwind romance and within a year we were married.

Soon afterwards she got pregnant. I was thrilled, until she dropped the bombshell about her colleague.

She promised the affair was over so I forgave her and we moved on.

Eight months later, she became pregnant again. This time she was happy about it, and was certain I was the father.

But she also began confiding in me about her affair and told me it was with her boss.

He is 41. He’s very manipulative but she swears they never had sex again after she got pregnant the first time.

He kept pestering her, though, so they did carry on kissing. That is still cheating in my eyes.

I called him, demanding he leave my wife alone and he immediately agreed.

My wife left work and we are delighted to be parents to a beautiful baby boy. But I cannot forget what has happened.

DEIDRE SAYS:  You have a lot of hurt to reconcile but unless you can let go of the past it will overshadow your new family life.

Betrayal can erode a relationship and building back that trust can take time.

Be honest with your wife and explain how you feel. Tell her how much her affair hurt you.

You feel secure in your marriage but your bottled-up anger is surfacing.

With the right support, it is possible to make it past an affair, but this is something you will have to do together.

My support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? explains more.