I’m scared my fixation with female celebrities has turned me lesbian
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M scared my fixation on female celebrities has turned me lesbian.
Either that, or I’m having some sort of premature midlife crisis. My head is all over the place, and I’m worried if I don’t sort myself out, I’ll wreck my happy relationship.
I’m 28 and my boyfriend is 30. We’ve been living together for three years and have been talking about marriage and kids.
He’s wonderful and - until a few months ago - I’d have said he was perfect, my soul mate.
But recently, I’ve been questioning everything I thought I knew.
It started when I developed a crush on a famous female TV presenter. I can’t stop thinking about how beautiful she is.
Whenever she comes on screen, I feel my heart pounding, and I blush. I even dream about her.
I never had this type of crush, even when I was a teenager.
Then I started noticing other famous women - actresses, models, presenters - and fantasising about them too.
I haven’t told my boyfriend about this but he has noticed something is up, as I’m so distracted and I’ve gone off sex.
The last thing I want is to hurt him or spoil our relationship. I love him.
But part of me thinks that I might be gay and, if so, if this is something I need to explore before I settle down?
A friend of a friend is a lesbian and I think she might be interested in me.
Although I’d never cheat on my boyfriend, I’m concerned I might start to fancy her.
This is really stressing me out.
Could I suddenly be gay or bisexual?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Sexuality isn’t set in stone. Rather, it’s on a continuum.
The beautiful celebrities you fantasise about may have awakened feelings within you that you’ve suppressed.
Then again, this might not be about sex at all. You could simply be having a wobble about settling down.
Perhaps your fixation on these women is a form of unconscious self-sabotage, showing you you’re not quite ready.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to try to talk to your boyfriend about your feelings.
Make it clear you love him but are struggling. My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship should help.
Bisexual Questions would also be useful for you to read. It contains helpful organisations to talk to.
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