I’m worried what my narcissistic daughter-in-law will do now she’s pregnant

DEAR DEIDRE: MY daughter-in-law is the most conniving and narcissistic woman I’ve ever met, and now that she’s pregnant, I'm sick with worry that my unborn grandchild will become a chess piece in her selfish games.

I’m 65, my son is 34, and his wife is 32. They’ve been together for three years, and it’s safe to say it’s been a complete nightmare.

From the moment they met, she’s been intent on isolating him and turning him against his entire family.

At the beginning we tried so hard to make her feel welcome and accepted.

My wife took her out for lunch, we bought her thoughtful gifts for Christmas and birthdays, and we even went as far as inviting her on our family holidays. 

Yet all she’s done is repeatedly throw our kindness back in our faces.

From being outright rude and making snarky remarks to manipulating situations to make our son think badly of us, she’s gone above and beyond to cause trouble in our family. 

We’ve tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but as time passes, the more distant our son becomes, and it’s clear she’s the root of the problem.

Now she’s pregnant, I’m feeling a mix of conflicting emotions. While I can’t wait to be a grandfather and see my son become a dad, I'm worried. 

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DEIDRE SAYS: As hard as it is to accept, unfortunately you can't do anything about your son and his relationship. 

He is an adult, and he has to decide what is right for him and his growing family. All you can do is continue to do as you have been by offering kindness and support. 

You could have a talk and mention that you’ve noticed he’s distant. Ask him if anything is worrying him and let him know you will always support him no matter what.

Avoid criticising your daughter-in-law though as this would make him feel conflicted and is likely to push him further away. 

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