I know my husband is hiding something on his phone but I don’t know what

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband denies deleting his phone history, but I know he’s lying. 

I saw he’d been looking at an online problem page, but the following day it had vanished from his history. Now I’m worried he’s looking at porn or, worse, having an affair.

We’ve been married for 20 years. I’m 47 and he’s 49.

Lately, he’s been very secretive with his phone, always taking it with him around the house, and abruptly closing apps when I sit down nearby.

Although I know it’s wrong, I decided to look through his history. 

I asked him to make me a cup of tea and quickly scrolled through before he got back. I saw he was on a problem page but I didn’t have time to read it properly.

The following day, I managed to look again - but there was no trace of it.

He’s clearly hiding something, but I have no idea what. I hate being lied to.

What can I do? I don’t trust him at all.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Everyone is entitled to privacy, even from their spouse.

You shouldn’t jump to nefarious conclusions. 

It’s possible your husband is worried about something and wanted neutral advice before he talked to you about it. Or he could simply be interested in reading about other people’s issues. 

The real issue is that you don’t trust him. Without trust, your relationship will flounder.

Talk to him and ask if he’s worried about anything. Offer to help.

Hopefully, he will open up. 

My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, should help.