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PART-TIME LOVE

I’m sick of sharing my boyfriend with his friends

READ Dear Deidre Editor Sally Land's personal replies to today's problems.
Excited men watching a sports game at a bar.

DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend has the best of both worlds – me during the week and his mates at the weekend. I feel like his part-time girlfriend.

I am 29 and my boyfriend is 31. We have been together for almost two years but I wish he would grow up.

Every weekend he wants to be out with his friends to the point where I find it disrespectful.

He won’t text me or answer his phone when he is with them. It causes so many arguments. Sometimes he apologises and blames his mates for leading him astray but then it always happens again.  

I love him but he has let me down so often I am becoming drained by it. Sometimes he agrees with me and at other times he accuses me of nagging. 

I know there is room for me and his mates in his life, but I wish that we could spend a weekend together sometimes.

Surely that isn’t too much to ask.

DEIDRE SAYS: No it’s not. A good relationship has to fulfil the needs of both parties – and right now, your needs are far from being met. He sounds emotionally immature.

Find a quiet moment and say you will have to see him at the weekend sometimes if this relationship is to succeed.

And for the sake of balance, use the time he’s with his mates to focus on your own interests or see your friends, so you are not dependent on him.

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