I’ve started admiring other men’s bodies at the pool and it makes me wonder if I’m gay

DEAR DEIDRE: OVER the past few years, I’ve started finding other men very attractive despite the fact I have only ever had relationships with women.

Could I be gay or bisexual, and not have realised it until now?

I’m 48 and single. I like sex with women, and have had lots of relationships, but they’ve never lasted long.

I’ve just never felt satisfied and always found a reason to end things.

Lately, I’ve been watching gay porn and finding it a real turn-on.

And at the swimming pool, I find myself admiring men’s bodies.

I even tried to summon up the courage to chat up one guy who I know to be gay, but I chickened out at the last moment.

I also went on a gay dating site and flirted with someone. He wants to meet, but I don’t know if I will go through with it.

Why have my feelings changed and is this normal? I can’t stop worrying about it.

DEIDRE SAYS: Sexuality isn’t set in stone, and the way you’re feeling isn’t uncommon.

It’s possible you’ve been repressing your sexuality, or it may just be that you are enjoying having new fantasies as your relationships haven’t worked out.

Don’t pressure yourself to choose a straight, gay or bisexual label.

Talk to someone who understands. Try switchboard.lgbt, who can put you in touch with counselling and social networks.

And please read my packs, Gay Support and Bisexual Questions.

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