I love sex so I don’t understand why I am a flop in bed with my girlfriend

DEAR DEIDRE: I LOVE sex so I don’t understand why I am a flop in bed with my girlfriend.

I am 46 and my girlfriend is 45. We have been together for a year.

At first everything was great and exciting. We have lots in common and are good friends too.

We used to have sex regularly but lately I can’t perform.

I get really nervous and can’t stay properly hard. It has never happened before with previous partners.

We laughed it off, but since that first night it keeps happening.

On one occasion I lost my erection completely.

My girlfriend has started asking me if I still fancy her.

I keep telling her I find her hugely attractive and want us to enjoy great sex.

We are going away soon for our anniversary weekend.

I am scared I will ruin it if I can’t sort this out.

I love my girlfriend and I love sex, so why is this happening?

DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend means a lot to you and you are anxious to please her.

Anxiety blocks full sexual responsiveness and the memory of it not going well has set up a cycle of fear and failure.