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PATERNITY PROBLEMS

I look nothing like my dad – should we do a DNA test?

READ Dear Deidre Editor Sally Land's personal replies to today's problems.
two men in suits are posing for a picture and one has his arm around the other 's shoulder

DEAR DEIDRE: MY dad has recently admitted that he shares my view - that he may not be my father.

I’m a man of 30 and my brother is 25. He recently got married and I was the best man. When I scrutinised the wedding photographs, I realised how different we looked.

I’m blonde with blue eyes and my brother’s hair is very dark with brown eyes. Neither of us look like our father.

When I was at school, we were talking about DNA in biology and I wondered then whether my dad was biologically related but I put it out of my mind.

Mum and Dad divorced when we were little kids. She’d cheated on my dad. She left us and we don’t see her.

When Dad saw the wedding photos, he mentioned what I was thinking. Shouldn’t we do some checks?

DEIDRE SAYS: You’d be opening up a can of worms and for what purpose? It would cause stress and upset for all of you.

What’s important is that your father brought you up, he loved you and nurtured you and then some. He’s been mum and dad to you both.

It’s pretty common not to look like a parent or sibling and doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not related.

Your dad’s doubts are more likely to do with his feelings about your mother’s behaviour before they divorced. Weddings can get to you like that.

Instead, encourage him to talk to a counsellor through BACP - British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, (, 01455 883300).

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