DEAR DEIDRE
My wife and I got into a drunk threesome and it killed our relationship – I wish I could go back
Read Dear Deidre Editor Sally Land's personal replies to today's problems
DEAR DEIDRE: NEITHER me, my wife nor my mate were thinking straight when the idea of a threesome was raised – we had all been drinking too much.
While the sex was the best I’ve ever had, it came at a high price and now I fear I’ve lost my wife.
I’m 37 and my wife is 34. We have sons aged six and four and were happily married for 11 years.
We wanted for nothing, having bought a big house, nice cars and holidays.
But a new couple moved in a few doors down from us.
We soon got to know them.
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They were a similar age to us, we all got on well and began to have regular nights out.
Sometimes we got takeaways, sometimes we ventured into town.
This particular night we’d been to a new curry house.
Once home, our neighbours invited us in for a few more drinks.
The woman had to get up early with her kids so went up to bed while we carried on partying.
We started talking about sexual fantasies and next thing, me and the neighbour were having sex with my wife on the settee.
I thought she enjoyed it, too, but a couple of months later she said she wanted a divorce and was leaving me.
I was gutted. I then discovered she had been seeing the neighbour behind my back.
I moved out of the family home and my wife continued to see this man. She’s been out with a few other guys too.
She has changed so much that I don’t recognise her.
I don’t want her back and realise I’ve only got myself to blame.
I’m now living in a bedsit, wishing I could turn back time.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: As you’ve discovered, alcohol stops many of us thinking clearly.
Threesomes may sound fun, exciting and harmless, but often they lead to some unexpected consequences.
Inviting anyone into your sex life is always a risk and your threesome has wrecked your relationship.
But I wonder what it said for your marriage up to then.
You played a dangerous game with one of the most important relationships in your life, and lost.
If your wife felt neglected, that night would have made her feel cheap.
Please make sure you are there for your sons.
You are still young enough to learn from this experience and move on.
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