I’m worried sick about my husband and I fear therapy is making him worse

DEAR DEIDRE: COUNSELLING was supposed to make my husband better, but I fear it’s only making him worse.

He’s become so stressed that he’s started to think about suicide for the first time. I’m desperately worried about him. 

I’m 48 and he’s 49.

He’s always suffered from bouts of depression. His childhood was terrible - he was sexually abused - and a year ago, he broke down about it at work.

The company agreed to pay for counselling, which seemed to work at first. But a few weeks ago, he had another breakdown.

But now he has started talking about suicide. He says he doesn’t want to die, but he keeps fixating on it and obsessing on images of it.

I don’t think the counselling he’s getting is helping, and feel he needs some other sort of therapy, and perhaps antidepressants. 

I’m scared and need advice on how to help him.

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DEIDRE SAYS: While counselling can be very effective, it isn’t a quick fix and people can get worse before they get better, especially if it brings up painful memories from the past. 

It’s also true that he may need a different type of therapy or medication, or a different counsellor. 

My support packs, Depression and Abused As A Child, can help.

Suggest he contacts CALM - Campaign Against Living Miserably (, tel: 0800 58 58 58).

To reassure you, I have stayed in contact with several readers who have been in a similar place to you and your husband, and they have gone on to manage their depression and embrace life again.