I’m in love with a perfect man but there’s one major flaw

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M in love with the perfect man. The only problem is he’s not real - just a figment of my imagination.

All I want is a relationship with this boy of my dreams. I just wish I could wave a magic wand and make him exist. 

I’m a 21-year-old girl, and have never had a boyfriend or many friends.

When I was 15, I invented this boy in my head. He is gorgeous looking, with huge brown eyes, wavy dark hair and a cheeky smile.

He makes me laugh all the time, holds me and comforts me, listens to me and makes me feel safe. 

We share the same interests - going to the cinema, walking in the forest, and a love of dogs.

I think about him all the time and, when I’m alone, I talk to him. 

Lately, I’ve become so obsessed with finding him that I look for him in shops or on the train. Of course, I never see him. 

I’ve even tried drawing a picture of him using an AI app - but it doesn’t look like the image in my head. 

My life is so lonely without him and I feel so sad.

DEIDRE SAYS: Being lonely and feeling socially isolated are difficult emotions to cope with.

The problem is, the imaginary boyfriend you’ve invented to deal with your loneliness is so perfect that he’s actually stopping you from finding someone real, who can love you.

Of course, a real guy may not look exactly like your perfect man, and he will have flaws - like every human.

Perhaps you’re scared of rejection, so you’re rejecting anyone less than your ideal man first, to protect yourself.

It’s important you talk to someone to work through this. Counselling could really help.

See my support packs about How Counselling Can Help and Feeling Lonely.

Once you start to feel stronger and braver, my support packs, Widening Your Social Scene, will give you tips on how to meet people.