My girlfriend has begged me not to intervene over her sister’s violent bully ex

DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend has begged me not to confront her sister’s ex-boyfriend, who was a bully and hit her numerous times.

I am 32, my girlfriend is 30 and we have been together for two years.

She told me about this man’s violence towards her sister, especially when he had been drinking, and how he once hit her friend on a night out too.

My girlfriend made me promise I would not say anything.

Thankfully, her sister found the courage to leave him, but it’s uncomfortable because he is friendly with a couple of my mates and I can’t bring myself to talk to him.

I usually chat to everyone, so my mates can’t understand why I give this guy the cold shoulder, and he pretends he doesn’t know the reason.

I hate to see him acting as if he hasn’t done anything wrong. If I say something my girlfriend will find out and she will be furious with me.

Should I tell my mates or keep quiet?

DEIDRE SAYS: You must keep this to yourself. There is nothing to be gained by telling your mates and you risk losing your relationship when your girlfriend will inevitably find out.

You can firmly explain to your friends that you have good reasons to keep your distance but that, out of respect to your girlfriend, you won’t be saying why.

You might want to talk to this guy alone – and tell him you won’t stay quiet if you hear he is hitting another woman.