Surgery has ruined my sex life – I was not warned about the risk
DEAR DEIDRE: AN operation to treat my enlarged prostate has ruined my sex life.
I wasn’t warned of the dangers and now at the age of 50 my sexual relationship with my wife has been destroyed – I’m furious.
My wife, who is 51, and I used to have a healthy sex life and really enjoyed being intimate together.
I know she is missing sex with me and I do worry that she may well find someone else if I can’t sort this out.
Six months ago I had a rezum operation. It’s meant to be a less-invasive option but involves a rod being inserted through the urethra, which then delivers steam into the prostate.
The steam destroys the excess tissue, causing the prostate to shrink over time.
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I am now able to urinate at a much better flow again and fully empty my bladder.
But I am seriously depressed because although I can still get an erection and ejaculate, nothing actually comes out.
It stays inside my body and doesn’t give me the same sense of satisfaction.
Even though I am still technically orgasming, I don’t get the same sense of relief. Can anything be done?
The way I feel is that there is no point in having sex any more as I’ve completely lost that sense of satisfaction.
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DEIDRE SAYS: The risk of retrograde ejaculation is lower with the rezum procedure, but it still stands at up to six per cent.
I’m sorry that you weren’t warned about this, which has led to you feeling very resentful.
Even with this sort of “dry ejaculation” you should still experience the pleasure of an orgasm.
Perhaps the lack of satisfaction comes from the different type of ejaculation (retrograde ejaculation is where semen doesn’t come out of your penis during sex or masturbation but goes into your bladder instead).
Please go back to your doctor and explain your dissatisfaction. Ask if there is any other treatment.
If you would like to complain your service provider will have information on its website.
It may also be worth talking to a sex and relationship counsellor to help you get used to the new way your body works. Cosrt.org.uk can put you in touch with reputable therapists.