After no luck conceiving, we’re turning to adoption – is it the right choice?

DEAR DEIDRE: WE are just about to start the process of adoption because, after eight months of sex and no pregnancy, we feel we are doomed.

We are both 30 and we’ve been together for three years. My girlfriend had a miscarriage this year and she was devastated. We both were.

It wasn’t a planned pregnancy but when we knew we were expecting a baby, we began to look forward to it.

Then, when she was almost nine weeks pregnant, she woke up to find she was bleeding. She was admitted to hospital but there was nothing the medical team could do.

We left it for two months and then tried again but nothing is happening.

I’m not sure what the right time is to turn to help but my girlfriend has now said we should adopt as obviously, we can’t have children naturally.

I don’t know whether we are doing the right thing but I can’t bear to see her unhappy every month.

DEIDRE SAYS: The NHS advice is to try for a year and if nothing happens, then ask for help.

Your girlfriend’s miscarriage may have left her longing for a baby but rather than being fixated on getting pregnant, make sure that the sex is fun and that you relax.

Conception often happens when you’re least expecting it and being stressed won’t help.  

If she’s concerned about miscarrying again, she can find emotional support through the Miscarriage Association (, Tel: 01924 200 799).

My support pack called Want To Have A Baby? has further advice.

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