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HARD TASK

I’m terrified of tell my girlfriend I’m using Viagra to help my performance

READ Dear Deidre Editor Sally Land's personal replies to today's problems.
a person is holding a glass and a pill in their hand

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M too scared to tell my girlfriend I’m using Viagra to help my performance.

We’ve been together for five months and I think she’s the one for me.

I’m 34 and I’ve never been married but I’ve had lots of sexual partners. 

I had depression after my Mum died three years ago and I was given medication.

I then began to suffer from erectile dysfunction so I talked to my doctor. He said that my hormone levels were good so my issue was probably psychological rather than physical.

He gave me Viagra to use until things improved.

Since I’ve met my girlfriend I’ve decided that there’s no more messing around and going out on the pull. She’s 29 and the woman I want to be with.

Our sex life is OK but I have to prepare myself by taking these pills and she doesn’t know.

I’ve managed to pre-empt going to the bathroom to take my tablets and a long shower before bed-time.

However, I don’t seem to be able to climax like I did. What’s going wrong for me?

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

DEIDRE SAYS: It could be a combination of two things - taking antidepressants which can affect sex drive, and anxiety which is causing you to worry.

Not climaxing once has caused you to feel worried and then it happens a second time and so on.

Learning to relax will help but you have to get your girlfriend on board so that she can help you with being able to get an erection and achieving a climax.

Find a moment when you are both quiet and ask her if you can talk to her about something difficult.

Explain that you love her but you don’t want any secrets and tell her what the doctor has prescribed. 

Sit down together and read my support packs called Solving Erection Problems and also Find It Hard To Climax which explains tips and techniques to help.

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