I’m worried my girlfriend will pass on her spider phobia to our future kids

DEAR DEIDRE: IF I marry my girlfriend, will she pass her acute spider phobia onto any kids we have?

We are both 29, we live together and I love her to bits. I know she is waiting for me to pop the question but her phobia is damaging our relationship.

I sometimes think she only lives with me so that she has somebody to go into the bathroom ahead of her at night, to switch the light on and check for new cobwebs.

She can’t walk into a shed or a garage or a cave without feeling nauseous. We never go camping and walking in the woods takes a huge amount of courage.

I’d love to marry her but if she doesn’t get this sorted, how could we ever bring up children and get them to appreciate nature? It’s a non-starter. 

Her paranoia is getting on my nerves.

DEIDRE SAYS: This phobia is so restricting for her and it’s affecting your relationship and any future plans.

This is truly debilitating for her but with encouragement she can overcome her fears. 

Instead of avoiding areas where spiders can be (which could be virtually anywhere) tell her that you’ll support her while she finds some treatment.

London Zoo runs a friendly spider programme with great success (), or check to see if your local zoo runs a similar course.

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