My husband has been accused of historic sexual abuse and I’m devastated

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband has been accused of historic sexual abuse by a female relative, and I’m devastated.

It has torn my formerly close family apart – nobody is talking to each other – and I’m terrified of the publicity if it goes to court.

I’m 72 and he is 75. His niece, who is now 26, has told police he touched her inappropriately when she was eight.

He vehemently denies it, but several relatives have sided with her. Now, they are not talking to either of us.

I believe my husband is good, kind and moral and couldn’t do such a thing.

After 45 years of marriage, I am standing by him. He is broken and can’t stop crying.

I’m sure there’s been a misunderstanding or the girl is mistaken or lying.

The police haven’t yet decided if they will prosecute. I’m worried that if they do, my husband’s reputation will be destroyed – regardless of whether he is innocent or guilty. People will hate us.

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DEIDRE SAYS: This is very upsetting for everyone in your family, and you all need support.

But be aware that it’s rare for someone to make up accusations of sexual abuse many years later.

If your husband believes he has been falsely accused, he can get support from Faso ().

Survivors’ Network has information for families, friends and partners ().

Acts Fast () supports families impacted by child sexual abuse, sexual assault and indecent images of children. A counsellor can help you work through your feelings.

And Standalone () helps estranged family members.