I’ve never told anyone that I secretly self-harm
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M a man of 41 and I’m a constant self-harmer. I’ve never told anyone about my secret before writing to you.
I work for the council, repairing the pavements and bike paths. It pays well but I hate the job.
My parents have both died and I have one brother who doesn’t speak to me.
Growing up, I was told I was “thick” or “stupid” and I’d never amount to anything. I was in the bottom set in school and I felt worthless.
I’m dyslexic and could never pass exams with good grades.
Now my life is getting home and making my dinner and watching TV. I sometimes go to the pub but nobody talks to me.
I find relief in hurting myself. Sometimes I cut myself and other times, I use a cigarette to burn my legs. I’m so fed up.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I am so sorry that you have had a lifetime of feeling you’re not worthy. You probably won’t see it but, just like the person next to you, you deserve to find some happiness.
Your email to me was articulate and well-written. You are intelligent and the people who put you down had no idea of the way it would affect your life.
Finding friends will help to give you some new focus as well as giving you support.
Check out Andy’s Man Club (), which has over 200 groups across the country. The meetings run on Monday evenings. Their focus is friendship and improving mental health.
My support pack on self-harm explains how to find additional help.
