DEAR DEIDRE
Ever since I had a threesome with my boyfriend and another man, he has not stopped begging me to do it again
Over the last few years, things between us have shifted and I’ve felt his desire for me fizzle out
DEAR Deidre: SINCE I had a threesome with my boyfriend and another man, he has not stopped begging me to do it again.
Whether he’s searching for men online or writing a pros and cons list, he won’t take no for an answer.
His latest tack is to suggest we invite a woman as our third, but I’m simply not interested.
I’m 36, he is 39 and we’ve been together for six years.
We share one daughter.
We used to have an amazing sex life and at times it was hard for us to keep our hands off of each other.
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However, over the last few years, things between us have shifted and I’ve felt his desire for me fizzle out.
Then one day he brought up the idea of having a threesome.
He said he’d been talking to a friend who was interested and wanted to explore it with me.
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Initially, I was apprehensive but after some time I came around to it. I was desperate to feel close to him again and thought it might fix things between us.
But I hated it. To say I was waiting for it to end would be an understatement but my husband on the other hand couldn’t get enough.
Afterwards, I told him how I felt and I thought he understood, but after a couple of days he started hinting he’d like another one.
Now he’s constantly asking about it and has even gone as far as finding willing men online to show me.
No matter what I do he still persists, hoping I’ll change my mind.
It’s never-ending.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Nobody should feel pressured to do something sexual that they don’t want to.
You’ve explained that you’re not comfortable with it, and your boyfriend should accept your reasons instead of trying to constantly convince you to change your mind.
You need to have a serious conversation with him about his behaviour and explain how he’s been making you feel.
Hopefully, some consistent open communication will get through to him.
Perhaps you could both try to spice things up in a different way.
My support pack 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex can help you explore without bringing in a third party.
And I’m sorry but if he isn’t prepared to respect your wishes or compromise, you may well need to consider if he is right for you.
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