Just when I sorted my erection problems my wife’s libido is now low

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER a change in medication I feel like a man in my 20s again.

In recent years I’ve suffered with erection problems due to diabetes but recently have been put on new tablets.

They have given me a new lease of life and I no longer have to rely on Viagra.

I thought my wife would be pleased because I can now be more spontaneous instead of waiting for the pills to take effect and work their magic.

But I’m gutted that now I’ve sorted my issues, she has become peri-menopausal and her libido is low, to say the least.

I am 52 and my wife is 46.

We have been married for 20 years and have two grown-up children who have now left home.

We used to have sex once or twice a week but now I’m lucky if I even get as much as a hug.

She is rarely affectionate any more and when we go to bed she just wants to sleep.

She won’t talk about it and avoids the subject.

I love my wife but to be honest I don’t have the foggiest idea about what to do.

How can we get back to the loving couple we once were?

DEIDRE SAYS: It isn’t unusual for sex to become uncomfortable for women during the perimenopause and menopause.

Vaginal dryness can often make penetration uncomfortable and painful so it’s no surprise that your wife’s libido has been impacted.

However, many couples do have fulfilling and regular sex during this time.

Talk to your wife again, explain how much you miss intimacy and tell her how you feel. Suggest she speaks to her GP.

Try to slowly appreciate each other’s bodies and experiment with lubricants – both will make sex more comfortable.

In the meantime, my support pack Menopause explains more.