I keep losing my erection during sex and it’s making me miserable
DEAR DEIDRE: LATELY, I keep losing my erection during sex and it’s making me - and my partner - miserable.
I’m wondering if using Cialis will help me stay hard.
I’m 42 and my partner is 39. We’ve been together for five years.
Everything worked perfectly until last year, when I started going soft midway through our lovemaking.
The first time it happened, I put it down to having had too much to drink.
Then it began to happen every time, even when I was sober. And now, sometimes I can’t get an erection at all.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the Facebook page or email us at:
I hate not being able to satisfy my partner.
She keeps saying it’s OK, and she doesn’t mind, but I can tell she does. We’re both so frustrated.
I worry about it so much that it’s making me not want to have sex at all in case it happens again.
I’ve heard Cialis works and it’s my last hope. Should I buy some?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Having erection problems is distressing but very common in men as they age.
Although you can now buy Cialis - which works by increasing blood flow to the penis - over the counter, it’s not a good idea to self-prescribe, as there may be an underlying - and treatable - medical cause.
So it’s important you get checked out.
The first time you experienced erectile dysfunction, may well have been a result of drinking too much alcohol, and then the second time perhaps you were worried about it happening again.
It only takes a little self-doubt to creep in for erectile dysfunction to become an embedded issue.
My support pack, Solving Erection Problems, has more information.
Sometimes taking intercourse off the menu for a while can make erections return. Focus on giving each other pleasure.