My partner broke up with me by text two days after I threw him a surprise party
DEAR DEIDRE: TWO days after I arranged a surprise 50th birthday for my partner, he suddenly and cruelly ended our relationship by text. I’m reeling.
He refuses to give me an explanation, and not even his friends understand why he’s dumped me.
I’m 42 and he’s 50. We’re both previously divorced and met online, four years ago.
As far as I’m aware, we were really happy together. We were talking about the future, about buying a house together and even getting married.
At his party, he seemed so grateful for what I’d done, and he told everyone how much he loved me.
Then, just two days later, I got a text saying he was sorry, but our relationship wasn’t going to work.
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When I pressed him, he said his feelings had changed.
Since then, I’ve tried to talk to him but he is ghosting me.
His best friends told me they thought he’d made a big and very stupid mistake.
I genuinely thought he was the one, and that we’d grow old together. I’m so shocked and hurt that I can’t sleep or eat,
If he would only tell me why he changed his mind about me, I might at least be able to start getting over him.
I can’t believe he suddenly just stopped loving me overnight.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Ending a relationship by text and then ghosting your ex is a cowardly and selfish way to behave.
He’s denying you closure, and it’s not surprising that you feel shocked, confused and bereft.
It’s possible his milestone birthday made him reassess his life, or that something else has happened. Maybe there were signs you didn’t notice, or he was hiding his true feelings.
He might not understand himself.
Whatever the reason, you may need to accept you’ll never know the truth and find another way through this pain.
My support pack, Mending A Broken Heart, should help. Do talk to close friends or family, and consider counselling.