DEAR DEIDRE
An anonymous Facebook profile sent me compromising images of my wife
READ Dear Deidre Editor Sally Land's personal replies to today's problems.
DEAR DEIDRE: THE nude photographs of my wife sent to my Facebook account from a stranger, made my stomach heave.
Whoever sent the images used a fake profile so I’ve no idea where they came from.
Our marriage has had its ups and downs. We’ve been together for 10 years and married for eight.
I’m a man of 40 and my wife is 38 and she’s gorgeous. Everyone says so.
I don’t know why but I cheated on her on a stag weekend six months into our marriage.
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She went mad when my mate’s girlfriend told her what I’d done. Still I managed to convince her to stay by telling her I’d do anything for her to make amends.
And that’s what I did. I got a much better job in sales which enabled my wife to give up nursing which she hated because of the unsociable shifts.
My new job requires me to travel at least three times a month and I’m abroad a lot but we are financially stable without her second income.
I thought our marriage was good. My wife does as she wants, meeting friends and going for lunch and the last thing I expected was that she’d cheat on me.
The photographs were not ones I had ever taken, in fact, we don’t do that sort of thing but these pictures were unmistakable. I know my wife’s body and I know the tattoo she has on her side.
I then started getting screenshots of text messages which suggested she was regularly having sex with a guy when I was away.
She even gave him the dates I was due to go abroad so there’s no faking the content.
I don’t know what to do. Is she scoring points?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Probably not but she could be lonely. Long periods alone can upset a marriage and although someone needs to put food on the table, a good relationship isn’t always about money.
Find a quiet moment to talk to her about what you’ve been sent and explain how betrayed you feel.
You need to know if she wants to try and rebuild your marriage. Ask her what she’s missing in your relationship.
Would it help if you were at home more?
You’ll both need to be prepared to open up and be honest with each other. Some couples counselling would be good.
Contact Tavistock Relationships (, Tel: 020 7380 1975) who can help.
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