My school friends have new lives and I feel abandoned
DEAR DEIDRE: My friends from school rarely spare a thought for me these days and it makes me feel as if I don’t matter to anyone.
I’m 23 now and my mates went to university while I stayed put. There were five of us who hung out in school. I got a job in my dad’s garage and became a mechanic.
I don’t go out much but I do chat to them on social media and check in with them when we occasionally game on the Xbox.
If I go out at the weekend it’s with my parents and little brother. I hardly see them these days unless they happen to be at home. I like meeting customers but they tend to be older people.
I never forget my friends’ birthdays, or other important dates and send them messages because birthdays in our house are always special and acknowledged.
I sometimes send them a card if I see one which is fitting but they never do the same for me.
Am I just wasting my time keeping in touch with them all?
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DEIDRE SAYS: You don’t have to cut them off. That would be a shame, but they probably see newer friends regularly now that they live away.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t matter to them. Their lives have evolved, that’s all.
It’s time that you began to live your new life too by getting out and finding some new interests so that you’re not clinging to the past.
It’s great you have a mutual catchup on Xbox but making friends is easier if you have hobbies which are less solitary. A sport that you’re interested in can start an easy conversation with somebody new.
Check out meetup.com for ideas and inspiration to get you out of the house and my support pack called Widening Your Social Scene will help too. Good luck.