I feel gutted after finding flirty texts from my girlfriend to her ex – and they were planning to meet
DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner insists she has stopped talking to her ex but she was definitely flirting with him on text. I feel gutted.
I’m a 31-year-old man, my girlfriend is 29.
We have been together for three years.
We used to have a really good sex life and had sex at least three times a week.
But recently she hasn’t been bothered and our sex life has dwindled.
We haven’t been intimate in any way for weeks.
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We recently had our anniversary but the only plans she made were to go to a gig with her friend.
She didn’t even bother asking me if I would mind.
Then, I found messages on her phone, from a conversation with her ex.
She had deleted most of the messages but I could tell they were planning to meet from the gist of the conversation.
When I confronted her, she eventually admitted her ex wanted to go to a hotel to have sex, for old times’ sake.
My partner said she was never going to go but from the messages I could see that she didn’t exactly refuse.
She has stopped talking to him now, but I still feel unsettled. I am not sure what to do.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Do you still love her? If so, it is worth seeing if your relationship is worth another chance.
Ask her what you can both do to improve the relationship to repair the damage.
My support pack, Relationships MOT, can help together with one on Saving Your Sex Life.
She is no longer talking to him but of course you’ll watch her like a hawk because your trust has been shattered.
One more sign that she is talking to her ex like he is more than a friend then it will be time to walk away.