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Generous

I offered to help my girlfriend financially next she dumped me

DEAR DEIDRE: My girlfriend dumped me despite my generosity. I offered to pay her bills when she wasn’t earning much.

I grew up in the East End of London but I’ve landed a very lucrative job as a City trader. I met my girlfriend online a year ago and I thought things were going well.

She lives out of London. She’s 34 and she’s got a daughter of seven. I’m 37 and decided to sell my apartment on the river and move out to be nearer to her. She works as a waitress but she’s on a zero-hours contract. She finds it so tough to make ends meet.

I said if we lived nearer, I could help her out and when she was ready, we could get a place together. The move went ahead and I now walk five minutes to her bedsit.

She was struggling financially last month so I put some money in her account. Now she’s ended things with me, saying she’s not ready for this big change of life with me being nearby.

What have I done?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Probably nothing - but she may be feeling she can’t compete or she feels that you see her as a charity when she’s prided herself on managing in the past. 

Tell her how much they both mean to you - and that you want to help her out but expect nothing in return.

If she explains that this relationship has run its course, then you can’t do much about it but my support pack called Moving On will help you.

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