You helped me after my Mum passed away
DEAR DEIDRE: After my mum died of cancer, I felt incredibly guilty.
The last thing I said to her was: “Hurry up and die.”
I didn’t mean it nastily, but I just couldn’t bear to see her suffer any longer.
I’m 55. My mum was 80. I felt dreadful and believed that I had not done enough for her.
Instead of being with her at the hospital as she neared the end, I had chosen to spend time with my wife and daughter.
There was absolutely nobody I could admit this to, except you.
You reassured me that I sounded like a caring and loving son, and I hadn’t done anything wrong. You said guilt was a common emotion in bereavement, whatever the circumstances.
You sent me your Bereavement support pack and advised me to have counselling to help me work through my feelings.
As you advised, I contacted Cruse Bereavement (cruse.org.uk, 0808 808 1677), which was scary at first, as I find it hard to open up.
I have begun speaking to a counsellor and it is helping.
Thank you, for being there when I had nobody else to turn to.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Many men find it hard to show emotion or seek help.
I hope that in time you are able to move on and think of all your happy memories.
