KINK
My dominatrix accepts my secret but I don’t think my girlfriend will
DEAR DEIDRE: I have a huge secret I am keeping from my girlfriend, even though we have been together for almost a year.
I’m 43 and she is 41. She doesn’t know I am a closet cross-dresser or that I regularly meet a dominatrix to satisfy my needs. I strongly suspect my girlfriend would not entertain this kink.
Meeting up with a dominatrix has helped me explore what I haven’t been able to in my relationship. I don’t want to lose my girlfriend but I think she will end our relationship if she finds out.
We don’t live together. I dress up in my own house. I have tried stopping but it always starts again.
I am not sure how or if I should tell my girlfriend. I’m worried because my previous relationships ended when I confessed. What should I do?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Secrets are always damaging in relationships. It’s a matter of time before she discovers the truth.
A man cross-dressing can be accepted by some women. Talking to your girlfriend about it is the only way you can find out if she could.
My support pack Worried About Cross-Dressing? will help you explain this to her. Your desire to be dominated will stem from deep needs which you haven’t been able to suppress.
If she cannot accept it, do not be tempted to say you will stop. It’s a part of your personality you can’t halt.
My support pack Fetish Worries explains more and where to get help.
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