Am I controlling, or is my girlfriend taking flirting too far?

DEAR DEIDRE: She's an incorrigible flirt who actively seeks male attention, so should I dump my girlfriend?

If I complain about her behaviour, she says I’m being controlling and jealous, but she is driving me insane and I don’t think it’s fair or normal.

I’m 33 and she’s 30. We have been together for a year. I knew she’d had a colourful history when we met.

She told me she had slept with more than 50 men and that she had been engaged twice.

But she is clever, funny and kind, and I fell in love with her.

I don’t think she has cheated on me, but she can’t stop flirting with other men – even in front of me. Once, she gave a guy her number.

She loves male attention. She says it means nothing – it is just her personality and makes her feel good.

I think she has a self-esteem issue when it comes to men because her dad was cold and distant and never gave her any love.

Now I worry every time she goes out without me. I’m torn because I love her, but I can’t see how we have a future if she doesn’t rein it in.

I’m turning into a paranoid wreck, which isn’t like me at all. I’ve never been insecure. Are we just bad for each other or does she have a problem?

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DEIDRE SAYS: You might well be right that her need for male attention stems from the lack of love and affection she received from her dad.

But if she won’t acknowledge this, or make an effort to change, this is going to continue to bother you, and ultimately destroy your relationship.

Talk to her again and explain you are thinking of ending the relationship because her flirting unsettles you.

Say you love her and want to work on this together. You could suggest couples coun­selling. See my support pack on Counselling for details on how to access this.