Dear Deidre
My boyfriend’s ex made my blood boil, but I took things too far
DEAR DEIDRE: I’ve done something really stupid and when my boyfriend finds out, he’s going to end our relationship.
At 31, I ought to know better. My boyfriend is 34 and he’s been married before. He has a son of five.
His son is a cutie but it does annoy me that my boyfriend sees his ex-wife every week when he picks up and drops off his son.
I found an explicit photo on my boyfriend’s phone of her, which had been taken before I knew him.
In the spur of the moment I sent it to myself.
His ex has always given me the vibe that she’d take him back in a heartbeat.
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Last week, she pushed me too far. Their son stayed with us overnight and when he went home he complained of feeling sick.
She then accused us of giving him too many sweets when he hadn’t eaten any.
He then developed a fever and got very poorly, so his ex called my boyfriend to go round and they took him to A&E. He was sent home with medication for a bug.
When I quizzed my boyfriend, he told me that his ex was in “a right state” and worrying about their son.
He admitted he hugged her and she then calmed down — but I saw red. It felt like another way for her to get him to touch her.
I sent that incriminating photograph to her and said if she didn’t keep her filthy hands off my man, I would send it to all of her contacts.
It was done in the heat of the moment. Now I don’t know how to make things right.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You’ll have to admit what you’ve done to your boyfriend and beg for forgiveness from them both.
What you’ve done is cause a toxic situation, and in the middle of the three of you is one innocent little boy.
Making things difficult for your boyfriend was not clever. You have to accept that he comes as a package with his son, and his ex-wife to some extent.
Delete the photograph and reassure his ex that you won’t be sending it anywhere.
She could have you arrested for revenge porn offences so don’t underestimate the seriousness of your actions.
My support pack Jealousy may help you to find some emotional recovery.
Try to work on raising your self-esteem to lessen the destructive hold the green-eyed monster has over you.
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