My friend refuses to talk to me after I made comments about her daughter online – I can’t believe I hurt her
DEAR DEIDRE: UNINTENTIONALLY I have hurt a very dear friend and now she won’t speak to me. I can’t sleep and the guilt is killing me.
I’m a 52-year-old woman. My friend is 49. I posted comments anonymously on a website about the way her daughter was being badly treated by her mates.
I felt really sorry for my friend and even though I didn’t mention her or her daughter by name, she is livid about my online posts. I’ve asked for them to be taken down but it could take weeks.
At first she said she wouldn’t speak to me until they are taken down, but now she says it doesn’t matter whether the comments are removed or not – she wants nothing more to do with me.
I have apologised numerous times for my stupidity and lack of sensitivity.
I feel incredibly ashamed of my behaviour, hurting someone I care so much about. Can you help me?
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DEIDRE SAYS: When friendships change or end abruptly, it can stir up a range of emotions.
She sounds resentful and unhappy but you have repeatedly apologised and done your utmost to make things right. You can’t do any more.
Even the best of friends may not stay that way for ever. And that can hurt.
Focus on the good friendships you do have.
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Think about talking to a counsellor if you’re struggling to cope. Access one via the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (, 01455 883 300).