The much older man I like is avoiding me
DEAR DEIDRE: Since I kissed a much older man, he has been avoiding me. I’m worried I’ve scared him off and ruined our friendship too.#
I’m 28 and he’s 54. We’ve been friends since we met at a local arts centre, where I volunteer. We have always got on well and been a bit flirty. I got the impression he fancied me.
One night, he offered me a lift home because it was late. When we got to my flat, I asked if he wanted to come in for a drink.
He seemed hesitant, then said he needed to get up early the next day, so should probably leave.
He leant over to kiss me goodbye, but I turned the wrong way, and somehow he ended up kissing me full on the mouth. I liked it, and kissed him back. It turned into a full-on snog.
Ever since, he has been keeping his distance. He says “hi” but he won’t engage in conversation.
I’m confused about what is going on and what I should do.
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DEIDRE SAYS: There are many reasons why he might be keeping his distance.
Perhaps he’s in a relationship, but hasn’t told you.
Or maybe he’s worried about your age difference. He’s old enough to be your father and may feel it’s inappropriate. My support pack about age gaps has more information on this.
Try to engage him in light conversation. If this isn’t possible, send him a message saying you would love to chat and want to remain friends.
